Mindset Artistry
Mindset Artistry Empowers Corporate Creatives and Fashion & Entertainment industry professionals to discover their purpose and achieve career fulfillment through inspiring content, personalized coaching, and a supportive community.
Mindset Artistry
The Actor's Guide to Self-Commitment: Boundaries, Self-Care, and Compassion
Ever wonder why some artists thrive while others struggle, despite equal talent? The secret lies not in relentless hustle, but in something far more fundamental: genuine self-commitment.
In this deeply personal episode, Amanda and Janelle reveal how committing to yourself transforms both your creative output and emotional wellbeing. Through vulnerable stories of their own journeys, they demonstrate how honoring their needs directly led to booking roles—sometimes within 48 hours of making this powerful shift.
The hosts explore three essential tools that have revolutionized their approach to the entertainment industry. First, they unpack the transformative power of boundaries, sharing how setting limits with both yourself and others creates the fertile ground where creativity flourishes. Amanda reveals how family expectations nearly derailed her authentic path, while Janelle discusses overcoming her reluctance to ask for help.
Self-care emerges as the second vital component, redefined beyond indulgence into intentional practices that sustain creative energy. Janelle's breakthrough moment came when she learned to "slow down to speed up," allowing rest before an audition rather than pushing through exhaustion—a choice that directly led to booking work. Similarly, Amanda shares how honoring her genuine joy in film and networking energized her creative practice.
Perhaps most powerfully, they explore self-compassion as the antidote to an industry built on rejection. Through honest conversations about comparison, timing, and trust, they offer a refreshing perspective: "What's yours is yours. No one can take what is meant for you."
Whether you're fighting creative burnout, navigating rejection, or simply feeling disconnected from your artistic purpose, this episode provides actionable wisdom for reclaiming your power and joy. Join us to discover how committing to yourself might be the missing piece in your creative puzzle.
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This is the.
Speaker 2:Mindset Artistry Podcast. I'm Amanda DeWoe, an actor or actress per your reference and an inner voice life coach, and I'm Janelle.
Speaker 1:Pulaski, an actor and career and mindset coach. We're your hosts and we're here to flip your mindset, to teach you the artistry of what we learned to keep your mind in check Over the course of our lives.
Speaker 2:we've taken on the journey of healing, living and being authentically ourselves, as we successfully built our individual careers in the entertainment industry.
Speaker 1:This podcast is designed for you so you can discover your goals and courageously reach them at your highest potential, while being a hundred and thousand percent yourself.
Speaker 2:What you'll get from us is real, dirty and okay, a little more like a lot of quirky, along with special elite guests that nurture empathy and create a safe space without judgment. So get ready to build a mindset that is unapologetically you and excel beyond the stars. Welcome to the Mindset Artistry Podcast. That's good. Welcome back to another episode of Mindset Artistry. I am your co-host, amanda Dubois, empowerment and transformational coach, and today we're going to be diving into the powerful conversation about committing to yourself In a world of acting and creative pursuits. Self-commitment is a crucial foundation for success, emotional health and creative freedom. But how do we really commit to ourselves when we're constantly challenged by fear and rejection, shame, guilt and the pressures of the industry and of success? So we're going to dive into that, and I am joined by my co-host, the incredible Brum.
Speaker 1:I'm Janelle Glosky. I was like I have to change that. I'm a career mindset coach and also the co-host of the Mindset Archery Podcast. I'm happy to be here, Thank you.
Speaker 2:Yes, and so today we're going to dive into committing to your creativity, your art and, most importantly, your well-being and yourself. We're going to be exploring three essential tools that will help actors and creatives reclaim their power, freedom and the joy of creating without feeling the weight of our past fears and mistakes and other people's expectations or limiting beliefs. So committing to yourself means more than just showing up for the job. It means showing up for your well-being, your values, your creative expression, and even when the world might tell you to quit, don't do that.
Speaker 2:No, especially in an industry that is so demanding of us and so unpredictable, it can be hard to stay committed to our goals, and so I want to ask you this what does commitment mean to you, and how have you seen it impact your creative process? So, as we go through this episode, think about that question and we'll be asking more questions as well but as we dive into this episode, set an attention. Think about what committing to yourself actually means, what it looks like, what it feels like, and how you can begin to open yourself up to options and availabilities and opportunities for you to commit to who you are. Let's dive in. So I want, janelle, can you share a moment in your life where you committed to yourself and what was the I would say, the consequence, the effect of committing to yourself.
Speaker 1:I'd say the biggest one that I always talk about is how I just committed to the one-year experiment that I was going to show up fully for my career and myself, with consistency and daily action and a real plan, and that's why I work full-time today. But prior to that, I was afraid to commit to myself in that way because then if I failed and I couldn't reach my dreams, how painful would that be? So that was blocking me from committing to myself and what I really wanted the fear of the other side. Would it actually work out? And it did, and I'm so grateful that I committed to me and my dreams. Amazing. And what does commitment mean to you?
Speaker 2:specifically.
Speaker 1:Just following through with your word, saying I'm going to do this and and doing it, and then if even you fall off a little bit, just like loving yourself, but being like, no, really, let's take even smaller step and let's just keep showing up and doing what we said we would yeah, I love that, I love that, and, and for me, commitment is like that self-trust.
Speaker 2:I think what you're saying is like that self-trust, that knowing, in trusting the unknown and the uncertain, that it's going to be okay, because you know that you're doing this for a reason and it's purposeful, not purposeless. And when we commit to ourselves, we're saying I trust myself to take the risk to fail, to make mistakes, to grow and also to evolve. To evolve and in our work as creatives, commitment is the fuel that keeps us going when things get rough and tough, and it's also what gives us the space to fully embody the characters that we play and give to our art in a way that is authentic, it's real, it gives a sense of reflection to humanity, which is the gift of being an actor. The gift of being a creative is that we get to create a space where people can feel seen and heard and relate or maybe just laugh, in a space in their life when they're struggling and they just need companionship or someone to go. Oh my gosh, that's so funny, that's so good and it's just a little bit of escapism. And so one of the most powerful tools for committing to yourself as a creative is sitting, setting clear boundaries, not with just others, but with yourself, your career, your family.
Speaker 2:Setting boundaries is so, so, so, so, so important. When we get to know our boundaries, we get to know what are the hard yeses, or what are the happy yeses, what are the hard no's, and it becomes easier for us to communicate to other people as well, as we set a standard for how people interact with us and how people treat us. And, at the end of the day, how you treat yourself, how you speak about yourself in private, is how you most likely talk about yourself in public, truly. So be aware of that right. So setting boundaries. Now we can easily get lost in like the hustle, things and the bustle and like the money and all the expectations of the world.
Speaker 2:But if we don't establish these boundaries, we risk of losing our connection with our creative selves, with our true selves, and we end up tapping into things like self-sabotaging. We tap into things like anxiety and stress because we don't feel, we feel overwhelmed, because we keep saying yes to everybody. You become that yes person. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I'll do this, I'll do this and I'll do this, but then you've never said yes to yourself because there's not enough space to say yes to yourself. You keep saying yes to other people and you're not giving yourself permission to either relax, to give your goals and aspirations a good old try a good old, you know, fashion try, and we do that Again. We risk losing, losing ourselves, we risk living a life that isn't authentically ourselves, and then we live in the regret, the shame, the guilt of things.
Speaker 2:So setting boundaries allows us to not only protect our energy, nurture our energy, but also create a space that gives us the permission to be our best selves and give our best selves to our craft, even if it feels uncomfortable. When we set boundaries, we also give ourselves permission to be out of the lines, color out of the lines. It gives ourselves permission to be bold and experiment and grow and evolve. So I want to pass this on to you. Actually, I want to set a boundary for myself and I tell you where it came from. Is you know, we tend to have an obligation to family and friends, right? That's usually what we come down to is like that's where it starts. This is one of the first relationships we have in our lives as kids, and we learn from our environment and then it comes down to that, the pressures of like. We have to, you know, be the again I've said this before but be the good daughter, or be the good girlfriend, or the good son, or, you know, the good mother and all these things. And we start putting so much pressure on ourselves that we lose ourselves in these relationships. We lose sight on our individuality within these dynamics.
Speaker 2:And for me, you know, growing up in a family that didn't go to college, college right after high school, that had kids at 17, I was the first one to graduate college, not be pregnant at 17. I don't think there was anything wrong with that, but I was the first one to also get into college after high school and go, and it was a great, triumphant experience for me. Of course, I never regret it, but if I had gave myself permission at that time to explore what I actually wanted to do creatively, I might have taken a year off and traveled the world college, maybe I would have taken a year abroad. But I was so afraid of living out of these boxes at the time that I limited my creativity, I limited my growth, I limited my evolution at the time.
Speaker 2:And, granted again, I don't regret it, but I know I set myself back a couple of years and it wasn't until like my late twenties that I decided I was like, yeah, I'm going to travel and I'm going to do things that I traveled, but like traveling by myself, that sense of empowerment, that sense of like exploring who I was, what I wanted to do, and not the expectation of my parents or you know their expectations for me. I know they wanted me to live a better life than they did, so I know they pushed me to certain things but with that it gave me railings, like some boundaries not boundaries but barriers that I couldn't get quite past because I felt uncomfortable if I pursued my dream, because I was. Basically they were living vicariously through me. So I felt the pressure and the obligation to like I have to graduate college and I had to do this. And I had to get my nine to five job and I had to do this, but secretly, you know, and it became known I was pursuing acting. I was like I stumbled upon modeling and all these beautiful creative things where it was like I just can't not do it. It was finding me. They were like, oh, you can do this. I'm like, really, that's cool. Yeah, sure, so what? I kind of what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:By setting that boundary, had I had the courage or even the knowledge or the awareness to communicate to my parents and say this is kind of what I want to do, this is my path, I want to take a year off and I want to go away to college, or I mean go abroad, or I want to explore that and not feel the pressure and just say can I get your support? And sometimes they may not support us, but you can still empower yourself to do it anyway. And there are people out there who are going to support you. If I had set that boundary or communicated my boundary or communicated my aspiration, I would have set a thought in their mind to say that I was capable of doing something and they would have encouraged me or supported me regardless anyway.
Speaker 2:But again, set the boundary, get to know who you are, explore the version of you that wants to try something new, and then do it, Communicate it. Don't seek outside validation to confirm that you're doing, that it's okay to do this, that you should be doing this. Try it anyway, even if you have to not tell your friends or your family, and just secretly do it. Fine, secretly. Do it and hold on to it, keep it precious and do it and then, when you're ready, you can share it with the world. You can share it with, you know, the masses. So I want to. Now, I want to ask you, like weird noises passing by here, what are boundaries have helped you set? That you've set for yourself, that helped you along your path to stay committed to your creative journey and your joy and happiness and peace?
Speaker 1:I've been toggling between two more recently and I've always gone after what I wanted, but most of the time it was kind of like I have to make it happen, no one's going to help me and I don't have time to wait, and I sure as hell don't want to ask for help and then wasted the time not getting it. And you know, everybody has a certain capacity and you do have to respect that. But the boundary that I've set for myself is you know, I don't always have to be like I have to do it all myself. And sometimes you do say what you need and other people can't meet you there and that's a bummer. But then the hard lesson in that but it's also very freeing is then you really know who that person is and how they are, and everybody's going to have different capacities at different times. But then there are patterns that show up on people and so it's not about carrying all the weight yourself and surrounding yourself with people that won't help you. It's about carrying your weight but then starting to find people that want to help you as much as you want to help them. And that is the scary boundary, because a lot of times our ego will feel safe in something that isn't safe because that's all we know. So it's not healthy for me or safe really really to be around people that don't want to help me as much as I want to help them, you know, and like it's not, like this victim thing. Obviously I'm putting myself in that situation, but it takes a lot of courage to set that new boundary.
Speaker 1:And then the other little one that I have now is, I don't know, I mentioned to someone recently oh, I'm going to Irish dance at my wedding to surprise my family and I'm excited about it because that's my heritage. They're like, oh, that's kind of corny. And in the past and I now have more awareness so I was like noticed part of me and who was it? The younger part of myself that was bullied a lot for being an Irish dancer, because you know it's kind of silly and kind of quirky. But also you're bullied a lot whenever you embrace something that's unique and different about you and you boldly go forward with it.
Speaker 1:But I didn't know that as a child. So I noticed my younger self coming up and I had to set a boundary of like a hug for her and just be like that's okay. That person said that was corny. And then I had to say my new boundary is what do I think? We're not going to go over and explain why it isn't corny. What do I think it's not corny? It means everything to me, it brings me the most joy and it's honoring my family. So those are the two new boundaries, and that helps you creatively, because then you're just staying in your own lane and surrounding yourself with people that are aligned with you.
Speaker 2:Yes, I freaking, yes, I'm here for that. I can relate to that. It's learning how to nurture your self-happiness without having the need to tell people. This is what I love. Why don't you understand why you want to do things? Because they don't have the experience that you do. It may be, you know, dealing with their own trauma and pain and own wounds that they can't even, they don't have the capacity to comprehend your happiness because it supersedes their own happiness and joy. Or, you know clearly, like Irish dance, and that's amazing. I think that's really cool and I can't do it. But for other people, again, she says corny, but like, it's something that brings me joy and happiness and I'm good at it and you're a hell of good at it. I can't wait to see it because y'all going to see it, because I'm going to post about it, for sure, for sure. So keep tuned in for that.
Speaker 2:You know, and that is such an important thing is nurture and forget the need, or at least lessen the need, to explain yourself. You don't have to over explain why you're doing something if you know the root of it, if you know the why of it, if you know the purpose of it and if you know for a fact that this is something that brings me joy. I know I'm going to do it. I'm a freaking great actress. I'm a great singer, I'm a great dancer, I'm a great model. I know greatness is in my path and I'm going to follow it. So be great and don't explain your greatness, because eventually, what's going to happen is they're going to see it and they're going to be like damn, I'm like damn, I should have followed through. Like oh, wow, that was actually really good. There are going to be people out there who get it and don't get it, and so what? They don't have to. They don't really have to. So sit down with. What boundaries are necessary for you? What boundaries do you need to create with not only yourself, but with others?
Speaker 2:It's so important, especially like for me you know, the things that I've been working on lately is recognizing the fact that I love being an actor, like I genuinely love being an actor. I love going to see movies and films and I love talking about it and staying up to date with all the series. And some actors don't. They're creative, but they don't like doing that. They're like all right, whatever, but for me, I have a passion for it.
Speaker 2:I love networking with people, I love being out and about, and some people find that icky or some people find that that's so annoying that we have to do that as actors and I'm like I love it Doesn't mean that I don't get tired, doesn't mean that I don't get burned out, but I genuinely love it because I get to interact with people and I have to set boundaries with people who don't love doing that, and that's okay. It's something that I would like to share with people and my friends and I want them to kind of you know, yeah, join me in this, because you're creative and this is going to be fun. And they're like this is not fun. This is actually full of anxiety strats. I'm like I don't like doing this and I'm like right, you don't like doing this. Okay.
Speaker 2:So I just took back that power and saying that I and I always done things by myself, but doing it again by myself, just going out there and like making plans for myself and going to the movies, which I love doing by myself, but like really claiming that and not explaining and just filling up my schedule with things that light me up. And that has been a big boundary that I think I tapped into because I've been. I was so resistant because I've been like, oh, I'm going to help you, I'm going to do this, let's try this, let's do this. And it's like wait, amanda, what do you want to do? Like, what lights you up? And then, sure enough, when I'm back in my art because work begets work, creativity builds creativity, and like lights you up Then I booked something like immediately, like the minute I committed again to like the things that I love to do and lightening up creatively, I booked a project that I get to film next month, right, and I was like, all right, this is what I need to do for myself. Like, right, you know. And so it's that awareness around your boundaries and what you need, what you need to nurture your creativity, your joy, your happiness, your self-love. All of that is important.
Speaker 2:Don't be afraid to tell people what you need, especially when you know how to give it to yourself. It's okay that they can't do that for you. Don't put the expectation on other people, because they again may not have the capacity to give you that and give them the grace to go. That's okay, because you really don't know what other people are going through. You know, because a lot of people hold in their emotions and they don't know how to articulate it. They were never taught Like I was never taught to speak this way to people.
Speaker 2:It was more of like suck it up and move on. Or you cry in the public, you cry in the closet and you move on. You come out. No, I'm good. Little allergies, little allergies, and I don't give a fuck about it. Like I am who I am and I'm unapologetic about it. Because I've worked so hard to get here, healing my wounds, setting boundaries, and let me tell you something, it was the darkest places I've ever been in my life, but it's so rewarding after. So don't be afraid of these moments. And so I'm going to breeze through these other tools but really dive into what are your boundaries? What are your boundaries around your own trauma and healing? Maybe it's time to just stay still and live in a little bit of the wound so that you can heal from it off a little bit of the dry skin, to let it breathe and like all the pus to come out, all the things, and then tending to it.
Speaker 2:Same thing with, like, your emotional wounds. You got to sit with it sometimes and address the fact that, yeah, I made this choice, or this person did this, I did this, and let it go. Heal from it, forgive. Forgive for your own benefit, not for others. Never seek that out. You know to forgive other people so they can validate your emotional journey, because they're never going to understand because they weren't in your shoes. So think about that. Right. Are the areas where you're saying yes to things out of guilt or obligation instead of alignment with your true desires? Think about where those boundaries are. So take that moment to reflect, write it down, write one boundary that you can set this week that will honor your creativity as well as your emotional need.
Speaker 2:And so the second tool is prioritizing self-care. Right, how do you help yourself? Commit to yourself. Prioritize your self-care, like I was briefly talking about, is my self-care and it's different for everybody is going to movies. That's my self-care. Sitting there grabbing a cup of popcorn, you know, maybe having a glass of wine while I'm in the movie theater. Or you know, doing my hair or dyeing my roots, because this ain't my real color y'all. So it's okay, but that's a form of self-care for me and it brings me so much joy. It lights me up to tap into what it is that you need to do to nurture your self-care. That could be going for a walk every day, talking to a tree. Let me tell you how I talk to trees all the time.
Speaker 2:Do the weird thing. Who cares? Do the weird self-care thing, as long as you're not harming anybody else and is honestly harming yourself. Do it Because you're going to thank yourself later that every day you're going to wake up even more joyful, more excited, something to look forward to rather than negatively thinking about the bills. And I didn't book this job.
Speaker 2:My gosh, I don't know where to find the thing that you can nurture your self-care every day, and it can be a small thing.
Speaker 2:I know we have a lot of obligations throughout in the world and roles that we play. Really, spend the time to make space, even if it's in the bathroom, during the shower, on your way home from work. Make your self-care in that moment. So, even if you feel like life is getting away from you, that moment is where self-care lives and you can nurture it and feed it, and then you can come out of it going yes and feed it, and then you can come out of it going yes. So now, what is the role that self-care has played in your creative process, because I know you and I have talked about self-care a lot, mental health a lot so tell me how it's played a role in your creativity and what you do today that you didn't do before, that you're like I'm glad I'm starting to do that now because it really has shifted my perspective in creativity about myself and how I walk and move in the world.
Speaker 1:I'd say slowing down to speed up. Yeah, that's tough. That's a hard one for me, because you and I we got our hands in a lot of things and that's who we are we're Aries and it's fire. We got to go, go, go. And I'm not originally from New York, but I must really be a New Yorker at heart because I love that. Sometimes I'm like this city is too much and then I'm just like I love that I can get so much done in a day. But it has been hard for me to pause.
Speaker 1:A week and a half ago I went through my house and I spent time to purge it and I had a few times I wanted to put everything down and I want to go do something else. And I made myself just sit there and breathe and I had to cry for whatever reason, and it's not like I was holding something sentimental, but I was holding something emotional, I don't know why. And so that's now been my self-care, like it's okay to take the day to purge the items because your future self will thank you. Or auditions. I got to book this right now. I got to get it in on time. I have to get it in before everybody else, or right away because I don't know the casting director. Are they going to see it? Are they going to watch it if too many days go by, or whatever? This mentality I used to have, you know, and I'm really grateful that my husband sounds so funny my husband is really good at being like Janelle you can put it down and pick it up tomorrow. And like people like my mom you know she's a sailor I think it's time for you to start a new day where you're just so tired, there's just time to give it a rest, just like a little baby child, like just need to let go, put your eyes closed and just cuddle up with some blanket and rest. And it can be so scary to do that if you have a scarcity mindset or maybe you had to hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle. But you know, like we did the work and it's good that we did that, but now we can relax. It's like being on that hamster wheel, like you don't always have to be on it, you can get off Still there, you know. So I would say that's the self care just slowing down to speed up.
Speaker 1:And that's when I booked too, like that one film I booked, I was just like sick. I had like a cough and it was whatever. And the first scene was great. I just couldn't get through the second one and Andrew was like lay down, and I was like I'm going to get it. He's like you're not Go to sleep. I was like, well, we have to wake up at 6am and I have to do it. You're going to get up with me at 6am. He's like, yes, go to bed. We did, I got up at 6am. I got it in one take.
Speaker 2:This is what I'm saying in here, y'all, this is what I'm saying. You know it's so important to prioritize yourself and really committing to yourself because that's one of the ways to commit to yourself is that self-care. And I love that you shared that, because I know how difficult that is for you, like I really do know how difficult that is. So I'm proud of you for actually working on that and like saying yes to like all right, rest is necessary because it's like you know, we just we can't keep going. It's impossible, we just can't. It's not how our bodies are functioning and just think about, like, how your body functions in general, like scientifically, however, it is genetically. Our brain needs to rest in order to flush out the toxins of the day. Our souls need to rest Our legs. After you work out, what do they tell you to do? Stretch rest, put your legs up. That is just everything in life. Everything is a muscle that you're actively going towards and moving and working. What comes after that? Rest? So, self-care, this is a form of committing to yourself. So not only setting boundaries, but getting to know what you need, really diving into who you are. This is the importance, because when you do like you said you book, you legit booked the role. You're like I need a break and granted kudos to the husband. All right, andrew, yes, yes, right. Knowing that's a good man. Right there is knowing that you needed that support. To say to now stop, cause you know you were going to keep going. You would have burnt out and you'd be like and then you would have been unhappy with the material after that. You didn't like this is terrible. Oh my gosh, I should have just went to bed. And so having that community is also important when it comes to committing to yourself is recognizing the community that you live in, the community that you surround yourself with people that understand why you're doing what you're doing. A little bit, again, this is like myself and Janelle and I know some people. We have friends outside of the field and that's absolutely okay and honestly, that's necessary because they can expand your view on life and on worlds and cultures and all these beautiful things.
Speaker 2:But it also is helpful to have people in the industry that you can go to, that can understand the everyday challenges, like that did over the weekend sorry, over the weekend just like Janelle, like I was like fighting through self-sabotage a little bit, cause it was like I had got this audition and I was like I'm tired, I got all these other events we were doing the other, the lives for the workshop and I was like, all right, I got to get this audition, so let me go outside, let me get it printed, let me do this. And I sat down and I was like, okay, and I already practiced it. And I was like, all right, I'm going to sit down and commit to this. And it was like the committing to myself in that moment was setting aside the fear and the self-sabotage of like you know, I can do it tomorrow. And it's like, but if I did it tomorrow in a different way than you did, like it's different For me I knew that I would have procrastinated even more, right? So I set an intention to go. I am going to set my intention to commit to this After four or five takes.
Speaker 2:If I'm not feeling it, I will take a break and I'll go back to it tomorrow because it wasn't due until Tuesday. But I was like I'm going to do it because I have a full week for the rest of the week. So, like Monday is going to be too jam-packed, I'm not going to really have the energy and to have the time. What am I rushing to? To do nothing, to lay in bed or to grab a couple of you know, meet a friend? Prioritized myself and my goals. And when I did guess what? Booked the role, I booked the role. Within 48 hours I booked the role, got the call and I was like what, okay, thank you, I'm good at this, thanks, and you know what. And even looking back at the self-tape, I flubbed the line and I was like, well, we do that in life, that's real. And I was like, well, we do that in life, that's real. It was a very emotional scene. So that felt very authentic and I stood in it like it was a part of my character.
Speaker 2:So again, when you commit to yourself, when you get to know yourself, boundaries, your boundaries, when you get to dive into the importance of that, you also give yourself freedom to make mistakes. You give yourself freedom to take those pauses. You give freedom to be who you are and walk in the world and like this is who I am, baby. And then people accept you, they see you, you're seen as you see yourself and it's valued. And when you walk into rooms that don't value you, you have an easier time of walking away, you have an easier time of setting that boundary and going all right. You know, I know this is the job, but I don't have to give my energy to this person, I don't have to say yes to this, I can say no, and so that's one of the most powerful tools. And then, with that, this is the last tool that I'll share with you we had a whole episode about this is practicing self-compassion.
Speaker 2:Compassion. What Janelle and myself did in both those scenarios and very different circumstances, is we practice self-compassion. I practice self-compassion knowing that I know that, amanda, you do this, you can let go, you can give yourself permission to be here and then like, rest after that. And I did rest after that, you, you rested in there because you knew you needed the rest. Right, that was that form of self-compassion. You knew it was necessary even though you were resistant towards it, and vice versa. Right, exactly, and it's okay.
Speaker 2:You know, life isn't always about knowing all the answers, it's not always about knowing all the things. It's about giving yourself permission to flow through sometimes. Sometimes you just need to flow through life, and this tool about self-compassion and practicing that is especially important for creatives who we're just constantly, often, like, faced with rejection and self-doubt and guilt. And why is she doing this and why is she getting the role and I'm not getting the role? And why are they doing this and they're getting the role and they're getting auditions? All these things? It's like stop, stop, stop putting the reflection out on other people and take a pause and look at yourself. Practice a self-compassion. Maybe there's something you're not doing. Maybe you just need a rest because you're self-sabotaging these auditions, or you should be nurturing your creativity in a different way than those people. Practice that. Practice self-compassion.
Speaker 2:You can go back to an episode, too. If you Google it or search it in the search bar for both Spotify, youtube, apple Podcasts, you'll see a whole episode about self-compassion. But that is a beautiful way to treat yourself and treat yourself with kindness. Even through the setbacks, even through the challenges, you got this. You can accomplish anything. You put your mind to Remember that these challenges sometimes are necessary because we're repeating the same thing, because we haven't the same thing, because we haven't learned from a past experience, and we can't get to where we want to go without overcoming that challenge or that mindset or that emotional attachment, or even people.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you just got to let go. Listen, you know, we grow up with certain people in our lives, but they don't have the same aspirations as we do. They don't have the same passion as we do, they don't have the same goals as we do, and that's okay too. But if they're lagging or they're not like, I don't care. It is what it is. I'm just going to move through life and that's not the person that you are being in that environment.
Speaker 2:Well, you eventually pick up those patterns. You'll pick up those patterns unbeknownst to you and you'll be wondering why. Six months go by, a year go by. You're like, wait a minute, why didn't I follow through with that goal that I set, or that mine, or that following through with talking, you know, reaching out to a manager or agent or booking, like following up with the sound guy that I met on that indie project that told me that they were about to work on something in two months and they said they would be grateful to connect you. And you didn't follow up because what? You were exhausted, you were fearful, fearful, you were tired, all the things it's like. Just take a moment pause, tap into that awareness and really practice that self-compassion, getting to know yourself. And so, before we wrap this up now, like, how have you found self-compassion be a game changer for you in your career and your life.
Speaker 1:I had a moment today where I saw a friend of mine. We came up together and she's on a red carpet for a very huge film, and so then it of course came up in me happy for her genuinely. But also there's still a part of me that wants that, and so something I encourage everybody and this is a form of self-compassion is like you know well what are the differences in your stories. So she chose to go hard just for acting. She left modeling and she made her own films and made her connections that way, and good for her. She went so hard on that route, she had that tunnel vision.
Speaker 1:So then the next step is shame and guilt come in. You think I do love modeling, but I did this and this and, oh, I chose this path or I didn't have the confidence. And then you have to be like, oh, you have a different story and a journey. For a reason the five-year-old, six-year-old in me that always wanted to be a full-time you know model in New York City. I'm literally living a dream out right now that I never thought would happen. I just saw my friend perform the Frank Sinatra. You know, if you can make it her, if I make it anywhere, you know, and I was just like I make it anywhere, you know, and I was just like I made it in New York City.
Speaker 1:And that's what I'm always telling people when jealousy does come up, have compassion for yourself, don't feel shame over it and acknowledge it and be happy for that person, because you genuinely can't but get back to your story Now. I love this podcast, I love our community, I love Amanda, I love what we're building. I love that we coach people and we want you to live out your dreams and that's not something that this other person is doing. That is okay, she's very kind, but that's not. But I can't imagine not, that's such a big part of who I am, being a teacher and a coach and the story I want to make about my brother. I didn't have the courage to do that sooner, but the timing wasn't right. So I think that's the biggest self-compassion for creatives is sometimes it's just the timing thing can really get you, but all you can do is be like you're doing the best you can and we joke about you know well, it's not really a joke.
Speaker 1:Time is a construct. You know quantum leaping and jumping timelines like it's all there for you when you're genuinely ready for it and you can be ready for it any time. It kind of makes me think of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, and then she just like clicks her heels and like there's no place like home. And she's always been home. You've always had it. What's yours is yours.
Speaker 1:That's why I say, when you fully show up, it's there for you. No one can take what is meant for you. So this other person, her path even if I did the exact same thing that she did, I wouldn't get those things, and so that was a long story, but it comes up a lot in creatives, and so I just want to encourage you please love yourself for the path that you're on and be inspired by who you are. It's good to look around, but love yourself enough and have the compassion that, like I'm showing up for Janelle today and who she is and who she's meant to be in this world and her authentic footprint in this thing that you know we call life.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, exactly. Like you know, setbacks, ups and downs is a part of the creative journey and we have to normalize that and normalize the fact that it's okay that it happens, but never living in it too long to the point that it becomes your like. We normalize it to the point that we know it can be accomplished or it can be overcome, and you did that and, like I love that, you shared that. Looking at other people, unfortunately it's just a part of this industry because it's a competitive one. There's only one character or one actor that can do that specific role that you know, unless you're doing twins, and even then now they have people playing twins like sinners, right, you know. So it's just a part of the job, but there's going to be roles out there for you, there's going to be jobs out there for you, and believe in that. Keep nurturing your craft. And I know sometimes it can be really hard because we constantly come across rejection and doubt and our pain Like why not now? I don't understand, but, like Janelle said and like myself, is you don't know what you need to learn or do in that timeframe in between before you get the thing you actually are desiring. You know us starting this podcast and becoming life coaches and me doing like social media management, like that's not something that I thought I would even ever be doing, but I'm so grateful that I get to not only do it but incorporate that with my craft as an actor and I can bring life into my craft, but I also get to help people along the way, get to know what it is that can help drive you through life. You know, we have to learn how to recognize the fact that our creativity and our art also is of service. How can you serve the masses your story, go through it, accomplish it, overcome it? I know it's difficult, I know it's hard. Sometimes, when we show compassion towards ourselves, we stop attracting and attaching it to our worth and our external outcomes, because we know we're meant to do this, and so we end up focusing on the journey and enjoying the journey. Enjoying the journey, as crazy as that sounds, but we get to enjoy it and we get to see that there's magic in this unknown, this challenge, like, okay, I know this is difficult, I know I'm going through a hard time, but I know that when I accomplish this and when I overcome this, because I'm trusting that this issue is already resolved. It's going to be so much better. I'm going to learn so much about myself, and so it's such a beautiful, beautiful journey.
Speaker 2:Don't define yourself by rejection. Don't define yourself by timelines. Keep going and be kind to yourself through this creative process, and one of the ways that you can do that is coaching with us. We just did a beautiful live this month Money Moves 2025. We did it back in February, we did it again, and it felt so good to share our thoughts, share experiences, but also get the feedback. Oh my gosh, I really needed that. That was amazing. This came just in time. We get it.
Speaker 2:We come through these hurdles in life, so, before we go, I want you to share your thoughts on this episode. What came up for you as far as boundaries, especially as an actor? How have you practiced self-compassion? How have you related to self-compassion? Do you see yourself as compassion to yourself? How do you view committing to yourself every day? Is that hard? What are your boundaries? Committing to yourself every day is that hard? What are your boundaries? Have you been honoring your boundaries, or do you need to reevaluate what boundaries you are, because you've evolved and you've grown, or you haven't really addressed certain things in your life.
Speaker 2:So nurture and feed your creativity through being your authentic self, you know, in front of the camera and behind the camera, and even through the struggles and the setbacks and all the things that come up with this career, this life, this journey. So, as we wrap up today's episode, I want to encourage you all to take those tools and start integrating them into your creative journey. Remember, committing to yourself isn't just about working hard, overworking, as you heard from our stories. It's about showing up for yourself and for your well-being, your art, your craft, your joy and your unique voice, the freedom to create and also to relax and to be an actor. That isn't just about feeding or fighting to get the job or fighting. It's about the flow. It's about accepting, it's about being aware and letting yourself unleash to the world your authentic story, your authentic dreams and your authentic self, because you matter, we see you, we hear you and we value you, and this is where you belong. Now, any last words before we wrap up this episode.
Speaker 1:No, we love you guys, we love you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, great. All right, everyone. We'll see you next time and if you haven't, we have a webinar free on our YouTube channel. It's also check us out because we're going to be doing more lives on Instagram. So if you're not following us, we've got Amanda Dubois Also. My coaching website is a. She's a life coachcom. We have all our platforms on there and Janelle is Janelle Kolosky on Instagram. We're live, we're out there, we're doing it. If you have questions, let us know, follow and join our newsletter. We're constantly offering free tools, advice, experiences that we go through and all the beautiful things, and we have a course coming up, path to Empowerment four weeks of great modules and videos and tools and workshops, and you get one on one coaching with the both of us, with the both of us, two for one, two for one. So join us and we can't wait to see you. Bye for now, and that's a wrap on this episode of Mindset Artistry Podcast.
Speaker 1:Don't forget to like, share and subscribe. Catch us every.
Speaker 2:Thursday for a new episode to help you master the art of your mindset. Got it? Yes, okay, cool.