Mindset Artistry
Mindset Artistry Empowers Corporate Creatives and Fashion & Entertainment industry professionals to discover their purpose and achieve career fulfillment through inspiring content, personalized coaching, and a supportive community.
Mindset Artistry
Embracing Growth: Overcoming Internal Critics for Creatives
Growth is a transformative journey that often brings guilt or inadequacy to the forefront. We explore how artists and creatives can embrace their unique paths of growth, recognize the value of vulnerability, and cultivate mental flexibility for success.
• Understanding personal growth and its emotional implications
• Identifying unique areas for improvement without judgment
• The role of vulnerability in unlocking creative potential
• Techniques for mindful self-assessment and reflection
• Building mental resilience through reframing negative thoughts
• Visualizing success as a pathway to achievable goals
• Emphasizing kindness toward yourself during the growth process
• Navigating comparisons and focusing on individual journeys
Contact us for coaching, courses, and additional support to help you on your growth journey.
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This is the Mindset Artistry Podcast. I'm Amanda DeWoe, an actor or actress per your reference, and an inner voice life coach, and I'm Janelle Pulaski, an actor and career and mindset coach. We're your hosts and we're here to flip your mindset, to teach you the artistry of what we learned to keep your mind in check. Over the course of our lives, we've taken on the journey of healing, living and being authentically ourselves as we successfully built our individual careers in the entertainment industry.
Speaker 2:This podcast is designed for you, so you can discover your goals and courageously reach them at your highest potential, while being a hundred and thousand percent yourself.
Speaker 1:What you'll get from us is real dirty and okay, a little more like a lot of quirky, along with special elite guests that nurture empathy and create a safe space without judgment. So get ready to build a mindset that is unapologetically you and excel beyond the stars. Welcome to the Mindset Artistry Podcast.
Speaker 2:That's good.
Speaker 3:Welcome back to another episode of Mindset Artistry with me, amanda Dubois and, of course, my co-host and extraordinaire coach, janelle Kolosky. So yay. So today's episode is all about the G word. What could that possibly be? It is called growth and the spaces we need to focus on in our personal and creative lives, and it's interesting. We were just having a conversation about growth and how scary it can be to admit that we need to grow, and how sometimes we can feel guilty for not knowing something or for not growing as quickly as we think we should be growing, or the fact that we don't get something, and it's like, well, why haven't I gotten it yet? I've been doing this for so long. I just don't understand. We feel guilty, and that is a part of the growth experience and the growth journey.
Speaker 3:As artists, actors and creatives, we often find ourselves at this crossroad and we're always wondering where do I need to grow and take my career, my mindset and creativity and to level up? So we're going to dive into that conversation today and how understanding how our growth is worth it. It's nothing to be ashamed of and these are areas that we can help you nurture and also get excited about the fact that, yeah, I found these places where I can grow, great, something new to learn, something I can learn about myself, and you can build resistance, resilience and continue to live your life in alignment with your passion, without living in despair or your past or guilt or shame or fear. And, as always, I have the incredible host that's going to join me in this conversation, so all right. So we're going to kick it off with how do we know what areas we need to grow, whether that's mentally, emotionally, physically, professionally, emotionally all the things that involves us as a being and for artists and actors and creatives, this could look different.
Speaker 3:So don't judge yourself for not knowing where to grow. Don't judge yourself for well. This person has automatically found the fact that they need to grow in this area. Don't worry about it. That is not your concern.
Speaker 3:Your concern with growth is looking within and seeing how you can best navigate your life and journey to align with the passion and goals that you strive to achieve in your life, and so we're going to explore how you can dive into this and then what you can do to take the steps of growing without again feeling the burden of despair, feeling that burden of shame and guilt. And so you're going to ask yourself these questions like what are some areas of growth that you've encountered before and where are you now in those areas, and is it something that I can utilize to help me grow in other areas of my life? Now, because we were just talking about growth, how do you feel about growth in as an actor and as a personal being, in a woman, and just like exploring growth, what have, what have you learned about it and what are you still learning?
Speaker 2:before we dive into that conversation, I've always aimed to have some type of growth mindset, but it used to be a lot more strict and, um, disciplinarian.
Speaker 2:So as as a dancer, wanting to become a better dancer or actor, or academically, and trying to be the best friend I can be and the best daughter and all this stuff, and it was really because I wanted to show up and we're all living this life best version of myself.
Speaker 2:But I think growth is uncomfortable, not only because it can be difficult to change Change is really hard but also it um, you see how it shows up in other people. So you might grow and you might finally start to change in a positive way. And then people might actually be cruel to you. And I've experienced that, working on myself or working on something, and you know, maybe it took me longer or shorter to get somewhere, maybe where somebody else wanted to be, and then having to deal with, even though it's nothing to do with them, the repercussions of that. And so I think with growth it's really just best to try to focus on yourself and that's all you can do, and know that you're going to be mean to yourself, other people are going to be mean to you and it's all about what's being triggered or activated and you can't give that too much space, other than like resolving whatever within yourself.
Speaker 3:Right now. Well, that's really insightful perspective and understanding. Like for me. Yeah, I definitely noticed that we have to focus on ourselves and the outcome that we're striving to achieve. And if we're constantly looking outward at other people and what they're doing, what they're not doing, how much they're getting, how much they're not getting, then we lose touch with who we are and what we want for our lives and the choices we make start mimicking other people and then what happens? Then we're living in the shame, we're living in the guilt, because that guilt and shame is trying to be something that you never were and that you're not right. It's like me going well, I want to be Janelle, like I want to be this model who's making like six figures great. But and so I'm going to strive for that great, that's fine. If that's really what you want to do, you want to be a model, you can look to her as inspiration and you know things like that.
Speaker 3:But if I know, because I tried the modeling and I'll be honest, I was like, oh yeah, no, we'll do the modeling and I realized I'm like, as much as I used to love modeling when I was like 16, 17, 18 and modeling until maybe like 22 doing, you know, the runway and all these things. I don't want to do it the way that Janelle does it. And I remember feeling a little guilty like, oh, why am I not like I'm going to these casting calls, calls, or I'm going to agency and I'm getting fitted and I'm like, oh, this is great, and then I don't get it, and then I don't get it again, and then I don't get it and I don't get the callback or whatever. And I'm like, oh gosh, I feel so guilty and it's like, but Janelle's getting it. It's like, yeah, but ask, no, I don't want this to be like my day job. I didn't. I didn't want this. I didn't want modeling to be my day job, but I enjoyed it. So I don't mind doing it here and there or if I find it where it works for me, great.
Speaker 3:But that was that realization of I had to pause and look within, ask myself this question, because that guilt, that shame and that anger was starting to arise within me and I started becoming depressed a little bit. And that's the awareness of the mental growth and how you can dive into this area. So okay, all right. So I hope that makes sense here. Listen, I can go on some tangents once in a while. Y'all got to just bear with me, because my brain works that way. Again, that's normal and that's something that I've grown to love.
Speaker 3:So I'm always going to talk about the growth and the topic that we're talking about today, just about learning new skills, though it's also about improving your craft. It's about improving your life. It's about connecting with other people. It's about understanding that life is your journey. You have your endless unlimited ticket to your journey. How are you gonna use it? It's about evolving mentally and emotionally. I know we talked a little bit about mindset in our podcast, and we talk about it a lot, too, in other topics, right, hence the name of the podcast. We're going to break that down what it means for artists to grow in the context of their craft and mental health. And it's not about ignoring where we've been, but acknowledging it and then moving forward. But acknowledging it and then moving forward.
Speaker 3:Right, that fear that I had to face with, recognizing that, oh, this is not really what I want to do. I'm forcing myself to do something that's also not going to make me happy. I'm looking at it from a financial perspective, but not from a satisfying mental perspective and bringing me joy in my life Again, to each their own. Janelle is fantastic as a model and I love that and she is inspiring and I definitely want to do modeling, but I want to do it my own unique way. I do enjoy it, but not in the way that she does it. Also, we have very different body types. It's just that realization of, like taking things as a matter of fact and not looking at it going well, this should, could, would, if it's looking at things and really embracing you as you are in that moment and seeing where you can grow. So I had to do that, and that is called being vulnerable with myself.
Speaker 3:Growth involves vulnerability and it's the only way to unleash, unlock our true creative power, because only then are we able to be honest with ourselves and honest about the growth that we need, the growth that sometimes we don't need, that we're doing it to satisfy somebody else, like, oh, I'm doing this because this person said I should. Okay, that's okay. Is it really coming from someone where you value their input, where you value their life? Is it someone who gave you advice that's doing decent for themselves in their life? Or if they gave advice to someone that you love? Would you trust their insight and their suggestion with someone you love? And if you don't, that's definitely not a red flag but something to notice. And so you have to also evaluate where the idea of growth is coming from. And so growth should always come from within, but you should always surround yourself with people who value you and want to see you succeed in your life, no matter what, however that looks, and they're okay with the journey.
Speaker 3:And that journey can be a little dark, a little scary, a little heavy, it can be really just overbearing, but it's a necessary journey to get out of the old, to get to overcome, to be the phoenix, right, they say, like you know, a phoenix rises. Well, you gotta bury the old in order to get the new. It's like you gotta kind of attend your own funeral. So I say this because Janelle and I you know, we've been in this I was going to say game for quite a while, right? This is a journey, the life I've been in it for All, right? Well, I'm going to be honest about my age here. We're about to be 36, janelle, anyway, we're about to be 36. So we've been in this game for 35 years, and so we're, you know, listen, we're definitely I say intermediate pros, about to be pros in our lives, but growth has taught us a lot, and so the thing is like even recently with growth is that you have to also recognize your values.
Speaker 3:You have to recognize where your goals are in your life and how do you get there? By growth. The person that you want to be or the goals that you want to achieve in your life, you can't get there without growing, because clearly the things that you're doing right now is not getting to where you want to go. There has to be shifts, there has to be changes, there has to be some sense of growth Excuse me. There has to be some sense of growth to get to the goal that you want. So I know I'm kind of going on this tangent here, but I really want you to understand the value of growth.
Speaker 3:Growth is, again, is not just about materialistic things, about that internal connection with who you are. It's about building relationships with other people and surrounding yourself with healthy people who nurture you, uplift you even in hard times, environment where you feel safe enough to explore your creative ideas. And if not, then you can when you learn how to grow and when you understand yourself and go oh, I need to grow in this area of my life. You learn to articulate that to other people. And when you learn to articulate that to other people, they can communicate with you, they can understand you and they can then decide okay, yeah, okay, great, you want to do this. Let's see how we can incorporate that in whatever we're doing right now. Or that's the choice that you have to make to go.
Speaker 3:I don't think this is for me anymore. Growth is all about you know, it's about vulnerability, it's about recognizing who you are, the mental state and even you know, recently I was undervaluing my growth, if that makes sense. Right, I have so many skills. I am a multi-talented person and I'd pick things up quite quickly, especially when it comes to computer stuff, like, I can pick up things like as far as like reporting and social media content all that I can pick it up quite quickly in systems. That comes from me being in the corporate world for seven to eight plus years.
Speaker 3:Right, I was undervaluing that and that was a part of my growth recently, because I was wondering, I'm like, why I have so many of these skills and people are I wanna do more, but I'm not even valuing the skill sets that I have, the thing that I'm taking like, oh, yeah, I could do that, no problem, I was taking advantage of that. And other people are like, oh, you can do that. I'm like, yeah, I can pull reports, I can make, you know, do marketing materials? I can, yeah, I can do all of that. Great, I can manage people's and organize their lives on the computer. Oh, wow, that's a skill that I wasn't valuing, and so I had to learn how to grow in valuing my own skill sets, even though they felt small, even though they felt small and like kind of stupid, like so, what I could do? That that's literally what I said. I'm like, yeah, okay, I could do that. That's literally what I said. I'm like, yeah, okay, I can do that.
Speaker 3:Like shrugging my shoulders and all like, yeah, like dismissing it and I wasn't putting the value in it and therefore I wasn't valuing myself. Yeah, so, yeah, I value myself as a person, as an actress, you know, as a life coach, but in that area I was like that's, I don't know what's so special about that, and it's like, because you could do it, okay, because you can do it. End of story. That is special. That is amazing. That is something to be valued. So I had to learn how to value those type of skill sets and I had to sit down.
Speaker 3:It took me a while I'm going to be very honest because I had to figure out how to articulate and how to get clear on what skill sets that I thought were ridiculous or stupid, or less than write them down and go oh wait, this is a valued skill. How can this value skill be utilized into other areas of my life, in acting in the podcast, in other adventures and endeavors that I want to do for my life and want to experience in my life? So I had to do that and because of that, I'm starting a new journey and I'm, you know, working on some other things in my life that I get to collaborate with people in a very different way and utilize my computer skills and utilize the things that I actually enjoy doing, which is like marketing and doing social media content for other people. Now I'm exploring and expanding my growth, because I took the time to admit that, hey, I wasn't valuing myself, I wasn't valuing my skills.
Speaker 3:Oh my, and now that I have, it took I'm not going to lie it took about six to seven months to actually go through that process because there's a lot of resistance. I was like no, I don't care, it's not that big of a deal. Whatever, don't tell me what to do, because I'm an Aries. You tell me what to do and I get agitated. I get like don't do that, that's not. And it's like no, this is a suggestion. So, being activated in the sense of like I'm being told what to do, it's like hold on, what's being activated within me. That's making me feel on guard, like I'm getting ready to just be on a horse and like with the sword and attack you and it's like okay, take a moment, what is it that you need to either understand about yourself? But what emotion is coming up that is attached to this sense of being told what to do?
Speaker 3:And what it was for me was the fact that I wasn't articulating my truth and those situations and those scenarios you know, working with other people, and then telling me oh well, you didn't do this and you didn't do that. I'm like well, I actually did. If you reread it, I did do it. I just didn't do it in the way that you expected it to be done. And when I articulated that I said, okay, great, I understand, tell me what you wanted. Well, that's exactly what I did, but I did it in a different way. Can we agree that it was actually done? And it was clear and it was executed properly Great.
Speaker 3:And when I did that the sense of control or trying to be told what to do dissipated control or trying to be told what to do dissipated and I was like, oh, I feel safe now, I feel in my power, I feel confident to articulate to other people that it's okay to go hold on, I get where you're coming from. I appreciate it. Let me just get clear with you on where I'm at. This is what I understood, this is the information that I got and this is how I moved forward with this. What were you expecting of me or what was it that you wanted? Let's get clear of that. So there's no miscommunication and I'm not activated, nor are you.
Speaker 3:And then, whatever it is the deadline, the thing that needs to be done is executed properly, and so that was a big one for me. Y'all you don't even realize how big that was for me to like, because it would boil in my body. I'm like I'm being told what to do, and even as an actor on set, like working with coaches, and I'm like, why are you telling me what to do about my craft? Right, and it's like, because I don't feel that. And it's like, amanda, calm down, they're just giving you a suggestion. Now it's your choice if you take the suggestion or not. What is it that you're not? Maybe you're not getting or understanding what emotion is blocking you. Maybe you don't want to get to that emotional level of. Maybe it's anger or fear or confidence within that character. So you're getting activated. It's not about you in that particular moment, it's about the character or the work that you're doing. So it's literally allowing yourself to pause.
Speaker 3:And that brings me to one of the first tools that you can do, which is the mindful self-assessment. That's that reflection, and this is like tool number one in self-assessment. This is about taking a moment to look inward and ask yourself deep, thought-provoking questions. This is where you need to be brutally honest with yourself, but also have a sense of compassion. So you're going to ask yourself these questions, right, when you feel like there's a sense of I need to grow, and this is going to be. What are those clues that you need to grow? Well, you have anxiety, you are depressed, you're angry, you're getting triggered. Very easily.
Speaker 3:There's things in your life that you're not satisfied with. You're starting to disconnect with other people. It's not always about oh, things aren't working out for me. It's like, okay, but I'm not connecting with people anymore. I don't love what I do anymore. I don't have value in the places that I'm in. Okay, instead of looking at why you're not being valued in these places, take a step back and going. Are you articulating how people can value you in these situations? So that's when you go oh, this is when I need to grow, this is when I need to grow where? Okay, maybe I'm not hitting that goal? And I've been going for this goal for three, four, five, six, seven years and I'm still not hitting it. I'm still in the same place. There needs to be growth. There is something that's blocking you. There is something that's in the way.
Speaker 3:So I'm gonna give you some questions as well. So a few questions that you can ask when you are in this state and you can write them down. You can speak out loud. A lot of times I'm speaking out loud to myself like this I'm in my room, probably sound like I'm talking to other people, but I'm talking to myself. But I'll ask myself what do I want to achieve in my career and what's stopping me Right? That's that question of the goal Like what, what do I want to achieve and what do I feel is stopping me? You don't have to know the answer right away, but you're going to explore it because we already know the answers. A lot of the times we're just afraid to admit it. So you're going to get out of the mindset of I'm afraid to admit that something's wrong or I need help or I need improvement, I need to grow. You're going to get out of that and you're going to value that. Oh, I do need to grow in this Great Great. That means you're aware. That means you can get to the next step. That means you're ready to receive the growth and therefore the level up.
Speaker 3:Okay, and you may ask yourself where do I feel stuck and why? Where do I feel stuck? I feel stuck emotionally. I don't know how to articulate myself with other people. Maybe I feel stuck in love. Maybe I feel stuck in friendships, like I'm just not feeling like I have supportive friends in my life anymore. So why do I feel stuck? Maybe I don't.
Speaker 3:Where do? Where do I feel stuck as far as my body and emotional, like I, I haven't toned up or I haven't lost the weight, or I like to say shed the weight. Shed the weight because we don't lose, we don't want to ever lose, we want to shed. So we're, like you know, a snake shedding their skin, evolving baby, all a bunch of words, usage of usage of your words, but shedding, you want to shed. Why haven't I shed the 10 pounds? What am I not paying attention to and why do I feel stuck? What's going on? Because it might not be your food or anything. It can be an emotional thing. It can be emotional tie. It can be something that is hormonal. It doesn't necessarily have to be I'm eating too much of these things. It can be an emotional connection to your body. Maybe your body just needed to do a little detox or drink some more water.
Speaker 3:This is how you're going to start getting in tuned with what your needs are, what. This is how you're going to start getting in tuned with what your needs are, what needs to grow within yourself, because your body will tell you, your mind will tell you too. Ok, and how am I showing up in my creative work. Am I showing up authentically myself or am I showing up out of fear? Am I showing up in full of anxiety every single day? You know, on edge, because how we show up also teaches people how to react to us. Just keep that in mind, right, okay, and then that can trigger and activate us with our emotional, whatever trauma we're dealing with or whatever it is within us. Everything's kind of linked to things. You just got to allow yourself the moment to explore it. And then, lastly, you know I want you to really do this regularly. But before we do that, jadal, what kind of what are some additional questions that you've asked yourself in moments of growth that you would like to share with everyone who's listening or watching, with everyone who's?
Speaker 2:listening or watching. I would say one of the most powerful things and this is more recent is essentially three questions. What is the story you're telling yourself? Who are you casting in that story and are you making them villains or heroes to protect yourself from doing the work? Because I'll tell you, I've been a villain in a lot of people's stories and I've also made other people villains. I've had people come to me. I'm doing the same thing as you.
Speaker 2:Why am I not where you're at Friend? You're not me. You have your own journey and the more you put your energy on me, there's less energy on you to get to where you want to be. And I've done someone else.
Speaker 2:You know, I had a friend. We started acting same time and we went to the same class and then she started booking all this work and I don't think I booked my first TV show until seven or eight years later and I found myself making her a villain because we had different personalities and she had a different family situation and she had a different support system and all these things. But we have one life to live. So ask yourself the question, because you always got the power to write your own story and you can distract yourself by your own story, and you can distract yourself by making other people villains. Or you can say this is me, this is my life, what do I need to grow in? And then people are going to react and people are going to say whatever they want about you. But stop wasting your time with stories that you don't want to be a part of.
Speaker 3:Well, amen to that. That was great, like, yes, it's the truth, that is, listen, I haven't been villains in people's stories and I'm probably still a villain in people's stories, and it's also about accepting that right. So it's accepting that. What Janelle is saying is like you have to also accept the fact that you will be villainized in people's story. You have to accept that and understand, okay, and then take responsibility, right, take responsibility for the choice of you being a villain in other people's stories. And then you villainizing people in your story for justification. You're trying to justify the not doing. By villainizing other people, you're justifying well, they're not doing. I guess it's not meant for me to do it whatever.
Speaker 3:And you get the attitude, you get disconnected and you get uh-uh, honey, uh-uh. That is you literally making up excuses to not do the work, to not take responsibility and to not acknowledge what needs to change. What are you not doing? What are you not doing that needs to be done? Meaning, if this person's successful, you may look at us and go oh, wow, they have their own podcast. She's doing her modeling, I'm doing all these other things. I'm traveling. Yeah, honey, that's great.
Speaker 3:But you don't know the behind the scenes. It's like, if you ever watch and I might be aging myself here because it just made me think of this a men in black. Remember men in black? When one of the characters they opened up and you see the little like alien controlling the, the body, that's it. Right, you don't know the alien and the in the work that was done behind the scenes, honey, it's like the, the curtain of the wizard you know in in Wizard of Oz. When the curtain gets revealed, you don't know who's that big old face telling you oh, this is what to do. You don't know the work that was being done behind the scenes. Don't assume.
Speaker 3:Now, if this is someone close to you, you can ask, and it's up to them if they want to share it or not. That's a whole other story, right? Because some people are not willing to share because they have that scarcity mindset of going. If I tell you how I'm doing this, then you're going to take work from me, which is actually a lack of mindset and a scarcity mindset, because when you live in that, you're also becoming stingy. You're living in your ego. You're really pulling work from other people because you could probably get even further by helping other people.
Speaker 3:Just saying right and that's also a part of growth is if you are at a level where you are feeling confident in your work and like things like that, people are now coming to you and asking you how'd you do it? Can you share that? Blah, blah, blah. And you go no, I'm good. That's the area you need to grow, because that means that you're not willing to help other people. That means that you're not willing to share your story, as Janelle said, because every person's story matters and it can help the next person. As you grow, you're also going to help other people grow too. Just by your action. Just by your action.
Speaker 3:So all I have to say is, again, you're going to use these questions that Janelle and I have shared with you and you're going to journal on them. Baby, you're going to journal on them and journal on them, and journal on them, because what's going to happen is I like to call it the purge You're going to clear out the muck in your mind. You're going to clear out the real estate that is blocking you from seeing and taking action on the growth that you need, because right now, what's happening is the resistance, is the mental blocks, is the trauma, is the limiting thoughts I can't, I shouldn't, they're doing it, so I can't. Those are things that are blocking you from growing. When you start exploring these questions and getting deep with them and then keep asking yourself again and again and again, you're going to get clearer. And then, when you get clearer, what happens is it's easier for you to make choices that align with the growth, that align with the goal that you want to achieve. That's the value of growth, that is the value of exploring growth within your life and with that understanding like, okay, great, as I'm exploring this, I'm going to get deep into these thoughts. I'm going to get clear on it.
Speaker 3:You also got to nurture which is the second tool that I'm going to share with you is developing the mental flexibility which is reframing those negative thoughts that be creeping in like spiders and villains and viruses. Right, you're going to reframe them and you're going to fix these thoughts or re-associate them with more positive, more uplifting, more hopeful thoughts, and then you're going to attach that to emotion, you're going to attach that to growth-oriented thought, and that's how you're going to overcome the challenges in any creative industry, in any creative life, in anything in your life. You're going to reframe because our brain is a machine, it is a system, so you've calibrated your brain to think that way in these scenarios. So by doing that, journaling and asking these questions, now you're telling your brain whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I've not done this before. What's happening? You're all sitting down your brain, your heart, your body are sitting at a conference table and you're having a conference and saying listen, what's going on? Hey, brain, what's happening here? Heart, what's happening there? Body, heart, what's happening there? Body, tell me a little bit more about that. You're literally having a conference with every one of these functions in your body and then you're aligning and it's the brain. Let me tell you something.
Speaker 3:So I've noticed that you've been saying that I'm not worthy of something a lot. Can I ask you why you feel that way? Great, what made you, do you believe that? Is it a matter of fact? Or is this a figment of our imagination that we've held onto because it was told to us, so we believed it and we made it our reality. It is not. That is not your truth. So you're going to clear out the muck. This is how you're going to reframe. So you're going to connect with the mental flexibility when we face rejection. When we face failure, when we face challenges, we have to shift our perspective. So, instead of saying I failed, say I learned, instead of thinking I'll never make it. Reframe it as I'm learning. What I need to succeed, that is mental flexibility, which helps us adapt in a world that is constantly changing literally day by day, especially with the whole AI and all the things that are happening. You got to be also flexible. It's like going with the flow. You can say that it's like mental flow too.
Speaker 3:Whatever words that activate within you that makes you feel good, use that you don't have to use every word that I say Always pay attention to what lights you up. They go oh, I like that word Great, that's the one that's going to propel you forward. That's the one that's going to get you to do the thing. That's why I'm very big on word use where, instead of saying I want to lose weight, I say well, I want to shed weight. Shedding. I'm shedding a version of me that no longer serves where I want to go or how I feel. I don't feel good, so I want to shed maybe a pallet or two, and by doing that, maybe I just want to drink a couple of some water and I do number one in the bathroom and I feel better. I'm like maybe I was a little bloated, maybe it's a hormonal thing.
Speaker 3:Also got to pay attention, especially as women. Our hormones can really affect how you react to things no-transcript and it affects our interaction and how we make choices, how we see growth, how we react to other people, how we react to our lives. How are you showing up for yourself every single day? Are you showing up in a depressive state and saying, well, nothing works for me, everything's horrible. Oh, my gosh, I'm never going to be the actor that I want to be. I'm never going to get that job in that corporate. I'm never going to be a CEO I'm never.
Speaker 3:Are you showing up like that? Are you showing up, okay, I'm not there yet and I may not know how, but I know I can, I know I will, because that mindset, you're going to start seeing opportunities. You're going to start recognizing oh, instead of doing this, what I usually do, let me try this. Or let me ask this person, let me connect with that person. Okay, this is that mental flexibility. It is the ability to also connect with self-compassion Instead of going and living in that.
Speaker 3:I'm panicking, no, no, no, it's. Take a step back, shed some compassion with yourself, share that, take a beat and see what needs to change. How can you shift that? Be kind to yourself throughout this journey as well. This journey is not going to be easy. It really isn't. I've cried so many times doing this journey and I probably will cry many, many times after, because growth requires a new version of me that I have not been able to get to yet, and it's the older version of me and the trauma and the pain and all the things and experiences that is competing with the new one. And the last tool that I would want to just share with you but, janelle, before I do, any insight on that mental flexibility that you would want to share and how that served you and is serving you.
Speaker 2:Yes, I'm a huge fan of the Clarity app. Yes, and if you aren't comfortable with the reframe, you're like, how do I even do this? And if you aren't comfortable with the reframe, you're like, how do I even do this? They have it's called CBT Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and you can say your thought and it will give you 12 options of how to reframe it. Like what's actually going on here. It's very empowering. So I would definitely recommend that because it's helped me a lot.
Speaker 3:There you go. There are apps. We talked about it in another episode as well, when we talked about cognitive behavioral therapy, and that's a tool that definitely has really been impactful in both our lives, and it's nothing wrong with admitting that you need help. It is absolutely okay to admit that you need help. And so the last tool that I want to share with you is some visualization you can't. To share with you is the visualization you can't move forward if you can't visualize it, and I struggled with that for a very long time. To be very honest and this is why it's probably the biggest one for me I never visualized myself past a year or two.
Speaker 3:I'm like, oh, I wanted to be an actor after I got there. I never thought it was possible, but I never visualized my life 5, 10, 15, 20 years from now. I really struggled with that. People will ask me oh, where do you want to go in five years? I'm like here, I guess, I don't know, travel Be better than I am today. That's very vague, because I struggled.
Speaker 3:I really really struggled with that visualization of looking beyond this moment, and that came from my personal trauma, that came from childhood, and that's something I had to explore, because I feared of looking to a future that I didn't think was ever possible, because when I looked at my parents and people in my life and family members, they'd never achieved what they wanted they may have now after years. At that time, growing up, they were in this very I'm doing this because I have to. Well, I don't know, when I'm going to be five years, I'm going to be in the same job because it pays good, or I should. I could have done that creative like idea, but I never did because, well, I need the money or this, this, I have a family, and so I was really living in, in the in that moment of like, well, how could I look to a future that I don't even think that I can achieve? And I didn't realize I was living that way until I started doing the healing journey, started exploring about my future goals, getting into a career that required that I thought about of longevity with it, and it was something that really hit me.
Speaker 3:I said, wow, I never really lived beyond this moment. Not that it's bad, but I never gave myself to believe in the future. I actually thought for the longest time I'm not even the longest time I thought I was going to die young because I feared it. I feared it and maybe I did. Maybe I did die young because I was the version of me that needed to be to die in order for me to up level to where I'm at right now. So maybe that was like that internal, like spiritual feeling that I was like I'm going to die one day yeah well, we all are.
Speaker 3:But the metaphorically, the version that you were living in that moment had to die in order for me to get to this level that I'm at right now, where I'm talking to you today, where I'm talking through my insecurities that I grew up with, where now I'm valuing my insecurities and going well, I didn't value my voice and now it is my power. It's one of my most powerful attributes. It was very insecure about those things, or being tall and having long legs, like I was always, you know, made fun of it and like no baby. I love my body, I love who I am and I teach people how to do that, too, is love who you are as you are. And if you want to shed that weight, if you want to improve this, if you want to grow your hair, get better, whatever it is, it is possible. Let's just get to. Let's make some steps, because it's we will get the how.
Speaker 3:So the last, so this last tool is just about visualizing. Through affirmations or through meditation, you're going to visualize yourself succeeding, achieving that growth, whatever that area that you feel like you need to grow in, visualize yourself already achieving that growth. What would that feel like? So, along with that visualization, connect with your body. What does it feel like to be walking on that red carpet of your short film that you premiered and now you're getting ready to do a feature film? Gosh, amazing, great. Visualize that. Let your body get familiar with the good, with the success of that, with the achievement of it, because right now, your body only knows the other side of the opposite, the despair, the anxiety, the stress, the impossible. You want to tell your body it is possible because your body, like that conference, is connecting with your brain. It's connecting with your thoughts. It's connecting with your brain. It's connecting with your thoughts, it's connecting with your heart. All of those things are connected. Let them work together.
Speaker 3:Some of the things that you can do is I am worthy of success and joy. That's an affirmation that you can now tie into a visualization. What does that look like? I am worthy of success. Oh, what would that be like in the next five to ten years? You know, I worked on major films with people that I admire. I got to collaborate and tell stories that are unique. I got to travel. I'm in a loving relationship. I'm in that corporate job I finally let go of the one that was stressing me out, that I wanted to pull my hair out and I'm working in a company that I love everybody I work with. Or I finally took the courage and I started my own company and now I'm employing people and I'm making a safe environment for them to thrive and succeed, because you are that creative force. So you say that I am a creative force. I am unstoppable.
Speaker 3:I also trust in the timing of my journey, and these are just things that you say trusting in the timing of my journey. And these are just things that you say trusting in the timing of your journey. So you don't rush it. You're allowing yourself to be present in the moment. Hard to do, not easy, like very hard to do, because sometimes there's hiccups that come up, injuries that come up, deaths that come up, literally.
Speaker 3:I just got word today that a family member passed away and it's like wow, hey, and it's like you have to deal with it. Deal with it and life will go on, but you have to learn how to deal with it. You have to recognize it. Take that moment, recognize that, and this is what you do. You visualize, you affirm, you, nurture yourself Compassion, you dive into who you are. You get deep with yourself, baby. Get deep with it, because no one's going to know you as good as you can Not there, in your thoughts. They may assume out of behavioral interactions with you, but they don't know you do, so.
Speaker 3:You can sit down and confront yourself and say this is we need to do this, and you can say it as a we, because we the version that you are now and the version that you want to be the version that you were. This is a we me myself and I version that you want to be the version that you were. This is a we me myself, and I right, if you want to use it that way, but you got to take the time to admit that growth needs to happen and stop villainizing other people, getting angry at other people for doing the things that you're not doing and their success who gives a fuck? That has nothing to do with your story, your journey. They are not living the life that you are. They don't have the things that you have. They never experienced the things that you did. We're all different people and we all deserve to succeed. So dive into that growth, because that's a step forward, that's the step closer to success, that's the step beyond failure. So these are such amazing tools and there are so many more and that's what we're here for.
Speaker 3:If you are in this space where you're struggling and you don't know how to explore growth, contact us. Contact us. Let us know we are coaches. This is what we do. We've done it with ourselves. We're doing it with other clients. We have courses, we have webinars that are coming up. So keep that in mind. Y'all right, we have webinars, all of these things. We're here for you. This is what we do, okay, so I want to leave you with two questions and then I'll pass it to Janelle, and then we're going to close it out. I to close it out.
Speaker 3:I want to leave you with two questions that, as a coach, you should be thinking okay, how can I be kinder to myself during the growth process?
Speaker 3:I want you to explore. How can you be kinder to yourself during this growth process? Okay, and so I want you to write down these answers and keep them as prompts, like how can you be kinder, oh, when you get activated? Oh, take that break, let me go grab a cup of water, let me do this. That's being kind to yourself and also disassociating with that heavy emotion so you can make space for the resolution, the, the solution and what areas of your mindset need shift so that you could unlock your full potential. You may not know how to do this just yet, but I still want you to take the time to ask yourself these questions over and over and over again, and the same answer may come up. That's fine, that's great, actually, because that's an area that's really at the top of your list that needs to be addressed right now. Now I want to pass it to you and then we'll do some final thoughts and then we'll close out this episode.
Speaker 2:I would say, also be grateful for the loss that occurs as you grow and understand that nothing is permanent. So maybe certain jobs or certain people were in your life because of where you were at and also if they weren't there as that mirror, you wouldn't have been able to have that growth. So when these mirrors come up and you keep hitting the same issue or you keep finding yourself in the same spot, it's going to be that way until you choose to grow. And I'll tell you, I had friends that fell away and then we went on our separate paths and we came back together. Or I had jobs that I fought so hard to keep. I was like I'm professional, I'm the perfect measurements, I'm doing this. I didn't do anything wrong, I'm respectful. It just wasn't meant for me anymore, and I can see that if I had that job still, it wouldn't have left room for other work that I enjoyed more.
Speaker 2:It is the most horrifying part of growth, because for me, of course, it's like vulnerable to face what I need to change about myself and I'm like, oh, I'm embarrassed, but for me it's much more scary to lose people or to lose what I know and the unknown of what could happen. But the beauty of that is, when you come more into yourself, it becomes more and more enjoyable. I promise, the more you're you, even if you have to lose things, it's always better, and and so now I just say this or something better, and and then just try to focus on what I need to do. Yep, I love that.
Speaker 3:that's. That's brilliant. It is scary to let go of the things that no longer serve us, but it actually did serve us at it for a particular time. Again, it's the idea that the person that you were or the people that were surrounding you don't serve where you want to go, and that's okay. That's okay, that is absolutely okay. So just be okay with that. You know and accept that that is also a part of life and that is a part of the journey.
Speaker 3:I want to wrap this up and I want to say thank you so much for joining us. This has really been an interesting conversation because we both were going through our own versions of this and we're always going to talk about topics that are relevant to us, that we've overcome, that we've encountered with other people, with our clients, as relevant. So if you have a question, go to our website. If you're curious. There's a prompt that says curious, ask us, ask or share your story. Share a moment where, if there's something that we said, they go oh yeah, let me tell you about this moment that I did that same thing. I just didn't know how to express it, but I did that and look what came from it. Share your story. You'd love to start sharing that.
Speaker 3:That's one of the things that we're going to start doing is sharing your stories, because it's not just about us. We don't want it to just be about us. We don't want it to be about you. We want you to see, to be seen, to be heard this floating planet, this alien of a thing worth it, valuing this journey and enjoying it. So, as you uncover areas of growth, be kind to yourself. Understand that it's worth it, regardless of how difficult it is in the moment. It is worth it because you're going to come out through the other side. There's always solutions to the problem. So thank you so much for joining us today and I can't wait to see you again for our next episode. And continue to follow us to share your like, and we'll see you next time. Ciao, for now.
Speaker 1:And that's a wrap on this episode of Mindset Artistry Podcast. Don't forget to like Ciao for now.