Mindset Artistry
Mindset Artistry Empowers Corporate Creatives and Fashion & Entertainment industry professionals to discover their purpose and achieve career fulfillment through inspiring content, personalized coaching, and a supportive community.
Mindset Artistry
3 Tools that work EVERYTIME when you feel MAJORLY BLOCKED in LIFE
Have you ever hit a wall where every step forward seems like a Herculean task? That's where Amanda Debraux and I, Janel Koloski, come in—ready to arm you with the mental toolkit to break through barriers and find joy in life's little triumphs. Join us as we peel back the layers of our experiences, revealing how a resilient mindset and a robust support system can be your allies in the relentless pursuit of your goals, regardless of the terrain. Whether facing the spotlight's glare in the entertainment industry or forging a path in a different field, our heart-to-heart is your playbook for nurturing growth and resilience.
This episode is a tapestry woven with vulnerability, strength, and self-compassion threads. We're here to flip the script on asking for help—it's not a weakness but a fortress of strength, a lighthouse guiding you through stormy seas. Tune in as we unpack the monumental importance of embracing patience, crafting a definition of success that's uniquely yours, and indulging in self-care rituals that recharge your spirit. As your co-conspirators on this voyage towards mastering your mindset, we're lighting the path and cheering you on every step.
Welcome to the Mindset Artistry podcast. This is Amanda DeWoe, a self-authenticity prosperity life coach and actor or actress per your reference.
Speaker 2:And I'm Janelle Kaloski, a career and mindset coach and an actor as well. We are your hosts and we're here to flip your mindset, to teach you the artistry of what we learned, to keep your mind in check Over the course of our lives, we've taken on the journey of healing, living and being authentically ourselves as we successfully build our individual careers. This podcast is designed for you so you can discover your goals and courageously reach them at your highest potential, while being 100,000% yourself.
Speaker 2:What you'll get from us is real dirty and a little well more like a lot of quirky Along with empathy edge and a safe space that holds hashtag no judgment.
Speaker 1:If you're ready to build a mindset that is unapologetically you and excel beyond the stars, you're in the right place. We're so excited to have you here.
Speaker 2:Now let's dive in Hashtag just say so how to conquer the uphill battle and whatever industry you're in we talked a lot about the fashion entertainment industry because that's primarily where we work. Amanda was in the corporate world before transitioning over to entertainment, but this can go for anything in your life. It could be a personal relationship, something with family, anything. So we're going to talk about how we can conquer this. Focus on the aspects you can control, seek support and you take care of yourself when we're going to break it down. So when I started to talk about focusing on what you can control, I would love if people would put in the comments what that brings up for you.
Speaker 2:A lot of times it can feel very scary or people don't even realize how much they can control. When I was going to give up on acting and modeling years ago, I felt like, oh my God, there's so much and there is. But I made a whole list of things that I could be doing for myself and at this point it's actually overwhelming how much I have control over, and it's a positive thing. So whatever challenge you may have, it's really important to remember you have control over something and break down this problem into smaller tasks, while celebrating your small victories along the way, Because a lot of times we focus on the end goal and if we're not there yet and we're in the middle of the hill, we're like, well, I just got to give up and just roll back down the hill and sometimes you do.
Speaker 2:You're knocked down a few notches, but it's important to notice your progress on the way. That can really help you keep moving through these obstacles. And if something feels too big and you're overwhelmed by it, that's okay. Don't give up on the task. Just figure out how you can break it down into smaller tasks. I'll get a little more into this but, Amanda, I would love your feedback on what I've said already.
Speaker 1:No, I love. Everything that you're saying is very concrete, it's very real. The uphill battle can be devastating, can be torturous, it can be so painful, but the truth is that you have a lot of the control, and that control comes from how you react to what you're doing and what you're not doing and all the other things in between, and I love that. You said you know pay attention to the celebratory things throughout your life. As you're going through this uphill battle, there are things to celebrate. It may not feel that way, but it could be as simple as you woke up this morning. That is something to celebrate, because there are a lot of people who don't.
Speaker 1:My grandma went to bed one afternoon and never woke up again. It's just that it could be as that simple. So just make sure that you're. I know it sounds as simple as saying like oh, I'm grateful for a good cup of coffee today, a good cup of Joe, which I don't know why it's a good cup of Joe. It could be a good cup of Jane, a good cup of J, I don't know. But you know like just those little simple things, because what it allows you to do is align with more of the things that you'll start looking Light too, like goodness. In the dark there's always light, and sometimes you have to be that light, so I'll let Janelle take it from here.
Speaker 2:Yes, being your own light can sometimes feel like, oh my gosh, I'm about to go out. But yeah, definitely the gratitude help fills you up again. So an example of how to break down a bigger task. Let's say you want to get a job as an actor and you're really upset and it's like, oh, I want to work more. That's a pretty big battle, that's a pretty big thing to conquer and it feels like sometimes it feels like there's so much. Then you break it down into smaller tasks. Okay, I want this job. Have I talked to my agent, which we're going to talk more about seeking support later? How are my materials? Am I doing what I can do to reach out to people? Am I putting it out there that I want this job?
Speaker 2:Because what Amanda and I notice when we're coaching people and even with ourselves, is people will have an idea of what they want to do, but then they don't make any moves, or they make one move and they give up completely. So it's really important to allow yourself the time to evaluate the big thing, this big battle, and really sit and try to come up with solutions. Don't stay in the space of being upset about the battle for too long, and I've been guilty of that, and you need to process how you're feeling, but then you need to move forward, and so it's, nothing is ever too big, and don't ever feel guilty about how much you have to break down something for it to feel comfortable for you. That's totally okay. We're all different and so maybe you'll have these voices come in and Amanda always talks to these beautiful speeches about this limiting beliefs and these voices that can come in.
Speaker 2:Oh well, you should be able to do this, or you should be smart enough for this, or this shouldn't be so hard for you. Well, it is, it just is, and it should have, could have what is or whatever. It doesn't help. So I really encourage everybody that's watching that when you're breaking something down into smaller, manageable tasks, don't feel guilty or shame about it or feel like you're not enough. The fact that you're showing up and you're doing that shows so much about your character and that you will conquer this battle. So the next point I'm gonna make is really about seeking support. But, amanda, I'd love if you have anything else to say about that before we move on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you very. Yeah, I think what came to mind was clarity within the chaos. Sometimes you have to pause and find the clarity and that may look like, you know, you're kind of going through a dumpster dive and you're like what's this and all these things right? So by breaking the bigger problem or the bigger challenge or the bigger task down into smaller, manageable actions and even just a mindset, you're allowing yourself to create clarity, to make again the space for the solution. Because if you're constantly, like Janelle said, if you're living in that space of the challenge or the problem or what's not working or the should have put a foot on us, or why isn't everybody or you know what, but they're successful, why can't I be? If you're living in that space, you're never going to appreciate, you're never going to acknowledge and you're never going to take action based on your talent, your gifts and what your purpose is, because you're gonna start, continue to compare yourself to other people. It's gonna become a competition with others rather than diving in and having the competition with yourself. And even then it's a process. You gotta understand that throughout this journey, everything is a process and everything will come in to do time. And throughout that process. You have to practice patience, gratitude, like Janelle said. You know you have to get clear on it.
Speaker 1:She's really really really good with the business side and understand and like getting you back on track with where you are with your career. You know, and I'm guilty of it myself, everybody's guilty of it to a guilty of that At some point in their career. They get either too comfortable, they get distracted, they get, you know, just disconnected with the craft. All of that is completely normal, and just know that you're not alone. Just know that all those feelings that come up are completely normal the imposter syndrome, the perfectionism of it, you know, the comparison of it, like all of that is absolutely normal. But you can choose where the power, the control come from, where you're putting your energy and focus in, and always going back to you, the route why you started.
Speaker 1:Like always, janelle says you know, you know you're North Star. She was saying this last night. What is your North Star? And I think again, the clarity, the manageable tasks, and in that you'll find what works for you. Don't go well. She did it this way and they did it that way. That's what's good for them. They're good at either picking up numbers or they read a page and they grab it. Maybe you're good at pictures and images. You have to dive into what works for you rather than comparing. Well, why can I get it as quickly as somebody else? Maybe you could if you practice more. Your brain is a muscle. You gotta continue to practice. You gotta continue to put it to work and once you do, it's just gonna become second nature, just like breathing. Yeah, and I'll pass it back to Janelle in the last one, the last pollute.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you want to seek support, and I just mentioned about actors. Make sure you're reaching out to your agents regularly. They are a tool and not just to get your jobs and you sit there and you don't do anything anymore. You're a team. You are the leader of the team, though, and I think this is something to remember. It's your career. Nobody cares about it as much as you do. You're not your mom, your best friend, and it's not their responsibility, and just remember, then, that you have to put your CEO hat on and you have to be a boss of the team, but there's support, so your agent will support you. If you ask enough questions, they are a resource for you. There are other people there. If you're an actor, they're casting directors.
Speaker 2:I reached out to other models and actors that were ahead of me and asked them advice on what they would do in certain situations, saying I have to figure it out myself and I understand this. You're kind of being defensive or being afraid of being judged, or maybe it's an ego thing like I have to do it myself and you have to move through that, and that can take time. It can take healing. It's a mindset shift, but there are people that do want to help you if you ask for it, and sometimes people might say no, but there's going to be a yes. So we have one more last point to make regarding taking care of yourself through the process, but I would love anything you have to add about that, Amanda.
Speaker 1:Yeah, great, I agree with you 100%. There is support out there. Sometimes you may not feel that way, but there is. And I would say just be aware that it's okay to feel vulnerable, to ask for help, because you're asking for help. It's okay to feel vulnerable, it's okay to feel uncomfortable because it is uncomfortable, because society has made it where if you ask for help, it means you're not strong enough to handle it on your own, and that's BS. That's absolute BS.
Speaker 1:And if you continue to believe that you're going to hold the weight of the world constantly on your shoulders and it's going to constantly weigh you down and you're going to perform at strenuous levels that are unhealthy for you, that will lead as Jenelle's going to lead into the self-care, that will lead into the deterioration of your mind, your body and your interest and passion for the dream that you're seeking, and I love that you pointed out. Sometimes your parents or your partner are pushing a dream on you. Always go back to why this dream matters Because, even though they're pushing for you and they're rooting for you, they don't know what it takes, they don't know your why, even if you explained it to them and they don't have to, because it's your path, not theirs. They can join you, sure, but it's yours to take, it's yours to pave sometimes. Sometimes you've got to pave the path as it meant for you. Sometimes that path is nowhere to be found, so you've got to create that path for you, for those behind you. You're the difference that you want to see, you're the change that you want to implement in the world and the industry or craft that you're interested in.
Speaker 1:All those things are yours, and yours only, and just know that there are people out there and it's okay, and if someone says no, we'll take it personal. You never know what they're going through. They may not want to help because they're living in their own fears of that scarcity mindset If I help Janelle, then I won't get the job. Well, that job's probably not meant for you. And so if you keep that mindset and going, oh well, I'm not going to help anybody because it just takes away from me, then you're not living in your truth as well. You're not living in the goodness and the kindness and the reciprocation of energy and knowing that everything and everyone can receive all that they desire, because it's pure potential Reality and everyone's capable of it and there's enough space for all of us to succeed, they got to find out what your success is as well.
Speaker 1:So compare somebody else's success to what you think you want for success. Dive deep into that. What does success look like? It could just be like you know what I want to book a couple of commercials a couple of times a year that make about 10k so I can live on my farm and travel the world. Or I can have a nonprofit company or I can do my production company. That's great. If you're in the form of success, kudos to you. You don't have to explain to anybody and justify it. If it makes you happy, it can kick rocks, and that's just the way I feel as far as that, and be patient with yourself throughout this process as well.
Speaker 2:It's okay, absolutely okay 100% and I do it all the time. I don't know. I had a scene that I prepared the other day and I had my acting coaches, words in my head and I even did what he told me to do, like in my head. And then once I got to him, he I wasn't able to follow through with something. He made a slight tweak to it, like he helped me. It was only outside of me, right, and I had to catch myself. I got really mad at myself, like, but I did the thing. Why didn't I figure that out? So Amanda and I are never going to tell you anything that we don't constantly struggle with. I don't know if that will ever go away. I'm going to keep working on it, but you see, I didn't give up. You know, and he reminded me that he's got, I don't know, 40, 50 years of experience on me and it will become muscle memory eventually.
Speaker 2:But you have to keep going up the hill. So the last thing we're going to talk about, and most important thing, is taking care of yourself. I know a lot about dreams and actors, but this could be, um, we're going uphill battle your health, personal romantic relationship, friendship, your job, whatever uphill thing You're like I keep trying to move this thing forward and it's not working. And it's important to make sure that we've already touched on celebrating the progress that has been made. Maybe you're having an awareness of, okay, this worked and then this didn't work, being very gentle, not judging yourself, but next time I'll try something a little different. I'm going to have to tweak this. For example, maybe in your personal relationship there's something where you're coming up against somebody else and it's igniting something in you and bringing up a traumatic thing, a trigger, and it can be very easy to be like why is it bothering me again? Can't I just get over it? And you know the self care to be like okay, thank you. I know this is bothering me, so I'm going to go rest, I'm going to go cry it out, I'm going to go speak to little me and figure out why that's a problem. Same thing can happen in romantic relationships. You're trying to have a really healthy relationship and then you get in a fight. That's okay, it's just teaching you something. What can you learn from this uphill battle? And that's part of this conquering and constantly being proud of yourself, that you keep showing up. And then, in regards to the acting uphill battle. You know, every day you show up, every audition you get, every time you go to a class. These are all little things that you're doing for yourself and you're taking care of yourself. Rest when you need to. You know, I have a client.
Speaker 2:It's kind of funny how we attract people like ourselves just really going, going, going, going and I'm like, okay, but where's the rest in there? You know, and I can tell she needs it. But a lot of people are afraid to take care of themselves, which I understand, because if you stop, well, you miss something. And then you have to make choices, you have to say no to things, which really drives people crazy. And I understand you have to set certain boundaries, but you don't want the audition to come along or that hang out with your friends and then you're so burnt out that you can't show up fully the way that you want to.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to be a spa weekend away. We don't need to be dramatic people. That's amazing Even just 30 minutes in the morning or maybe one day a week or half a day a week where you're just really figuring out like, what do I need? Me? I usually need to cry all the time. Life is crazy. So I usually have to be like sit down, breathe. What is the tension in my body? Cry, punch a pillow, and then I feel a lot better. Maybe get a facial and some acupuncture and laugh and dance.
Speaker 2:But if you're not doing that is really slowing your progress. If you're having like a mental health or physical or spiritual, even like health issue, it's really important to treat it like a sick day, like if you had a cold. How would you nurse a cold? You take 24 hours and you would give your body that rest. And so maybe in the present you're like oh my God, I'm getting so far ahead, but then you'll be taken out for two months, like I had a back issue and I missed a lot of stuff, and if I had just taken one day to deal with what I needed to, I wouldn't have been robbed of that two months. But still, I learned from the experience and it's fine. It's not a waste of time, because I know Amanda says that. Anyway, that's all I have to say about that. I love anything else you have to add to that, amanda.
Speaker 1:Yeah, self-care is very important to your journey. I was getting an image of this uphill battle, of imagining that person or you energetically pushing up a boulder a big ass boulder up the hill A big and after a certain point you're like, yeah, you're starting off, you got all the energy. You're pushing, you're pushing, you're pushing it. And then you start getting exhausted and tired, you're getting a little weak in the hands and you're like, oh my gosh, I don't know what to do, I don't know if I can keep going. And if you keep trying, your body may end up giving out and, like you may miss it and it may start rolling backwards and it sets you back. Like Janelle said, it set her back two months. However, if you also take the time to pause, what you'll recognize it's like these pit stops, these roadside stops is there may be a Opportunity for you to go a different path. I'm just thinking about like, maybe you have to figure out. This pit stop is like, alright, I'm gonna dig a platform, or like, dig in, like a little step and let it rest there, and while I'm resting there, I can dig the next spot or Prepare, which means I'm setting a new goal. Maybe I'm going to start shifting my tension or doing something a little different, and then I push the bolt up, wait to that next step, and it's way easier, way less stressful. I'm not. I'm like, oh, this was way easier, wow, okay, great, Okay, then maybe I should continue doing this or finding different ways to, instead of overworking, working effectively, and so that may come down to taking the rest. Like Janelle said, take the rest. Take the rest, it's okay. It's okay because if you have an opportunity that comes along and you're so exhausted and you get on set, or you the project or the presentation or the relationship, you may Overwork yourself to the point that you're not comprehending the information, you can't Articulate it to the people.
Speaker 1:You, that creative idea you had kind of slips away all the things that may occur during that process of overexhaustion. And it's really helpful. It doesn't hang out, like Janelle said, it doesn't have to be big, it could be as small as I'm gonna take a bubble bath. You know, I'm time to take a nice little soak in the morning or in the evening. I just gonna take five minutes to myself. It doesn't have to be crazy for five minutes to soak my body and go and breathe, let that air out, let that emotion out.
Speaker 1:It could be a hum, it could be a bit of a scream you screaming the water, baby, you know screaming a pillow, all those things but if you built that up, it turns into physical ailments, it turns into outbursts, it turns into depression and anxiety and all these other things that contribute to the Unhealthiness of your body, mind and spirit and soul and all of that. And so just Really really figure out and again that goes back to the root of yourself what is your inner voice telling you that you need? Pausing will allow all of the other chaos to calm down and your truth will come up and go hey, hey, hey, hey, I've been trying to get your attention. You need a nap, just you need a nap, yeah. Or like, hey, hey, hey, you're so focused over here, but there's something really good happening here, but you keep ignoring it because you're so focused on a particular outcome and it has to look a certain way, yeah, and so you're controlling it and holding on it, but like if you just shifted your mind or your eyes, this way there's an opportunity that's a bit better for you, that you're actually like, stronger at doing, and so it's just all about pausing, listening to your intuition, you know, or you know, knowing that maybe you've been resting too much.
Speaker 1:And that's a part of the self-care too, about being honest, like, maybe you've been resting a little too much, honey, I've been there too. Like, oh damn, I've been in two weeks. Girl, you gotta get together, you know, and that's fine, it's great. But like, get back to work, baby. Get back to work if you want some progress. And so it's just about this honest dialogue and self-care. It can look different for everyone and just be kind to yourself, discovering that and it's okay. And don't let anybody judge you for whatever that is. If it's like putting lotion and gloves on at night While you're watching a movie, do it. Cuz you like soft hands, do it. Who cares?
Speaker 2:Oh, this week we really encourage you to just try to look at whatever challenge you're going through. It could be personal or professional. Look at what you can control. Try to make a plan and break it down into steps. That feels comfortable for you. Reach out to people that are knowledgeable about this issue. Seek help.
Speaker 2:It's okay to feel vulnerable. Like Amanda said, I will still always feel annoyed that I need help, like I'm telling all of you, like it doesn't go away for me, but I still do it because I finally learned. And the last thing is make sure you're taking care of yourself and you got to figure out what that means to you. Talked about paraffin wax bowls and bubble baths and sleep or whatever. And don't feel shame about how long it takes you to figure that out. Like it took me a long time to figure out what I needed, and you're always going to be discovering, which is really cool.
Speaker 2:But we don't want to get you to give up on this uphill battle. Like, if you have the desire, if you keep checking in with yourself, maybe during your self-care time, and you're like, is this something I really want to do, you're going to know, especially when you're really like calm, you're going to really know if it's something that's really resonating with you. So we don't want you to give up, so that's why we gave you these tools today and we appreciate you joining us. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Mindset Artistry.
Speaker 1:We hope you found our stories and tips motivating and helpful.
Speaker 2:Be sure to follow us here on Spotify for more episodes to help you master the art of your mindset.