Mindset Artistry
Mindset Artistry Empowers Corporate Creatives and Fashion & Entertainment industry professionals to discover their purpose and achieve career fulfillment through inspiring content, personalized coaching, and a supportive community.
Mindset Artistry
From Stuck to Empowerment: A Story of Transformation with Victoria Ealy
Have you ever felt completely stuck, like you're spinning your wheels and going nowhere? You're not alone! Join us as Victoria, a long-time client, shares her deeply personal transformation journey through coaching. From feeling utterly desperate to discover a genuine, supportive relationship beyond mere transactions, Victoria's story will show you the profound impact of recognizing communication patterns and how coaching can unlock new avenues for personal growth.
In the next part of our conversation, we cut through the noise surrounding self-love and self-worth. Forget the clichéd Instagram posts about bubble baths and shopping sprees; we dig into the real essence of prioritizing yourself without guilt. We shed light on societal pressures, the emotional toll of encountering people from your past, and the grounding techniques to help you navigate self-doubt. Discover how addressing self-sabotage and negative thought patterns can lead to true personal fulfillment and growth.
We're excited to announce the launch of our Path to Empowerment & Career Planning Course for Creatives starting on August 1st! This course is designed to provide you with actionable tools, exercises, and weekly modules to bring clarity and empowerment to your career goals. We discuss the importance of faith, self-trust, and professional guidance in overcoming limiting beliefs. This episode is your reminder to maintain a positive mindset and believe in yourself, no matter what challenges come your way. Be sure to subscribe, like, and share the Mindset Artistry Podcast so you don't miss out on any future episodes!
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This is the Mindset Artistry. Welcome everyone to another episode of Mindset Artistry, and today is a really special, special episode. As I mentioned last week, we have my special guest, victoria, who has been a client of mine for quite a bit, and I am so excited to have her here. So I want to say thank you for coming on and I really just want people to understand one, what it's like to coach with me and, two, what coaching is about. Three, what was the effect that it had, or impact it had, on your life, and we'll go through that. So welcome to Modern Sudartistry Podcast, victoria. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Yeah, I have a big soft spot for you. I adore you so much and you're so talented and just seeing your growth throughout these months has been amazing.
Amanda DeBraux:Yeah, I feel the same way for sure Awesome, so let's dive in. Yeah, what brought you to actual coaching? Let's start there.
Jenel Koloski:Yeah, I mean, for me it was what like was it summer of last, was it last summer it?
Amanda DeBraux:was something like that, but yeah.
Jenel Koloski:I think it was like last summer, like late last summer, and I was just at a point where I felt like I was just going in circles and every time I tried something new, it was I was just metaphorically hitting a brick wall. Every time I tried something new, it was I was just metaphorically hitting a brick wall, right, not literally, and so it just it just really. I just felt really desperate and I just remember thinking like, okay, I need help, but I have no idea who to turn to. And you know my family. They're in such a different world than me that there's only so much they can do. So I needed an outside perspective.
Jenel Koloski:My friends have their own lives going on, and I remember you and I connected a while back through email from something totally different, and I was like, oh yeah, I remember she's Amanda's a life coach. I don't know what that is, I have no idea how this works. And then that's how I reached out to you. I was like, well, I feel like I need somebody to just hold my hand in a way. Um, and that's when I reach out to you. It was through there.
Amanda DeBraux:Yeah, I love that. Well, thank you for your honesty. I think we all need help. We talked about it last episode as well. I needed. I've had my coaches and it's changed my life. What. What was the most surprising aspect of like coaching, with me particularly or specifically?
Jenel Koloski:Uh, there were a couple things. I mean, one of the first things was your commitment, which I guess that shouldn't be a surprise, but for me that was definitely a surprise because I didn't know what to expect. Um, and just your commitment. And then the fact that we clicked so well, cause it didn't feel like a transaction, it felt like um, a relationship, you know, and it's blossomed into like this friendship as well. So I didn't I didn't know what to expect, but that was. Those were some big surprises. And then just how I had this like never ending support, um, and I thought it would only be like when we had our weekly meeting, but it was throughout, like whenever I needed it, and that was something I'd never experienced before. So, commitment, support, and then just slowly seeing changes as well. And then you also acknowledging things that I didn't even realize were hurrah moments. I just was like, oh, I didn't know that was a thing, and you helping me recognize that was really helpful.
Amanda DeBraux:That's awesome, I love that.
Amanda DeBraux:Yeah, I've seen you grow so much and even just after, I think, three or four sessions, you were making some strides and I was so proud of you. And even just after, I think, three or four sessions, we were, we were, you were making some strides and I was so proud of you. And, um, and thank you for your vulnerability and honesty within our coaching sessions, cause it can be tough to their soul and whatever we're going through. Uh, and I try to do my best to make it safe for my clients. Um, what was something that, like you thought was a problem or an issue that actually wasn't, and I, I helped you find something a little bit deeper that shifted your perspective or shifted your life in a way that uplifted it or made it a bit easier.
Jenel Koloski:Actually, I think it was something recently like that first popped up, even though there have been other things, but it was when you noticed that there was a pattern with me. Do you remember that? Yeah, no, we're all human, I pattern, um, but it had to do with communication with others, even though I I know a very good communicator and I and I know I can speak in bullet points when needed. But there was still like this loss in translation situation and it happened a lot, and there was always like this, not like butting heads, but it was more. I just wasn't able to get through to people.
Jenel Koloski:I was like but wait, I thought we were very precise when we were talking about, when it came to like work, colleagues or friendships or whatever, and you were like I'm seeing a pattern here. I think this is what this might be. And I really thought I'm like, oh my God, yeah, that's a. I need to be more precise on these things. It has nothing to do with, like me, clashing with all these people, it's just, it's this pattern that I didn't even realize I had.
Amanda DeBraux:Yeah, I love that. That was a big one that I noticed. But I think we all kind of have that. We all have a sense of communication.
Amanda DeBraux:We don't know how to communicate or like dive in, and I don't think it was a bad one, but I noticed that it was just flowing into other areas of your life and I really wanted you to hone that so that you felt empowered to have these conversations, that you had the power, the security and the certainty to have these conversations and leave it and going okay, I said what I said. I got all the information. Now I can move forward and I just love that. Like I think you know, I think it made a difference. What would you say to someone who is a bit hesitant about coaching with, specifically with me?
Jenel Koloski:I would say invest in yourself. Yeah, I would say that and I would just use them as an example. Use myself as an example, because I think it's been almost a year now that you've been my, one of my support systems, and my life is like a one 80 really, um, in different pillars in my life. So I would say, like you've known me forever and you knew when I hit different versions of rock bottom. So I would definitely say that, like, invest in yourself and, um, you know, look at the people around you and how their lives have changed. If they've had one, or with you for sure, that's what I would say.
Amanda DeBraux:I love that. Yeah, I just adore you so much and just your growth, and I'm so excited for everything that's happening to you and the things that are unfolding, and we all have hiccups and challenges. What is something you've taken away from our coaching that you kind of go back to or check in with yourself, maybe weekly, daily or like monthly go? Oh yeah, that's right and just kind of.
Jenel Koloski:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, it just like popped in my head.
Amanda DeBraux:Oh, yeah, go for it.
Jenel Koloski:Grounding myself is a big one, like I knew how to ground myself when it wasn't too intense, but I don't make as big a deal of things. So I have much more of a calmer. I don't freak out as much. There's less freak out. I'm sort of like, okay, let me assess the situation here. And also, my central nervous system isn't up here all the time. It's much more calmer here all the time. It's much more calmer, um. So that's something I I go back to. A lot is like being in my body more for sure, um, and then my self-worth as well, just kind of checking in with that when I make decisions or I feel I'm going to make a decision out of fear instead of using it as a challenge. That's definitely something, um, and even with, like dating cause you know some of my stories. They're quite comedic, um, but I mean you know some of them they're actually really funny.
Amanda DeBraux:We all have comedic stories in our dating lives. Let me tell you.
Jenel Koloski:Yes, but um, you know, just like, really, really not. Am I allowed to cuss on this? Yes, absolutely not taking shit, yeah, um, and that's been really great. And you know, communicating when it was uncomfortable or scary, or just also just saying no, I good, that's kind of been a huge difference, and now I just am such a different place when it comes to that as well.
Amanda DeBraux:Yeah, yeah, I love that. I've seen the difference in you and I'm so again, I'm so proud because I've seen the difference in how you even talk about yourself and how you navigate conversations with people, whether it's work or your personal life. What would you say has like? How has it affected your career as an actor? Because she is an amazing actress. Y'all Just letting y'all know, dropping it in there. She is so beautiful, so amazing, so talented. How has like coaching and your personal worth and just understanding how to ground yourself affected, like your acting or just your perspective on your career?
Jenel Koloski:That a balance is key, which I'm still.
Jenel Koloski:I'm still, you know, you know that I am still figuring out what that balance is for me, but it's, it's healthier than it's been in a very long time and to honor what I need for myself and to not beat myself up so much Cause, as you know, like I'm in acting school right now and I love it, but it's, you know, I was beating myself up because I have so many things that I'm juggling and you kind of reminded me like, well, it's, you have to take time for you and it's okay, Like you know, you, you don't run yourself into the ground and cause we I think we all have done that or we continue to do it, or we can see that it's coming and then we're like, no, we got to reel it back in.
Jenel Koloski:So that is definitely something I can say is like just honoring more of like what I need and knowing that the right things will come to me and enjoying it more, enjoying the journey more, Cause it can be really hard to enjoy the journey. Yes, it can. It can be really hard to enjoy the journey.
Amanda DeBraux:Absolutely yeah, all these unexpected things that come up and and that's what I think you know one of the benefits of having a coach is like, when these unexpected things come up, you have someone to rely on to help you through these moments or at least just like bounce off ideas or just kind of release whatever it is is going on in a safe space that's outside of everything, and I just love that. I was able to be that for you. And now do you have any like questions or things that you want to share as far as like coaching and you being a coach as well?
Victoria Ealy:Yes, hi Victoria, I also um to commend you on your courage for facing your shadows and wanting to change. Change is very difficult, so you should be proud of yourself. I always feel weird being like I'm so proud, or it feels weird, I don't know why, but be proud of yourself because it's a big deal. And with that, what advice would you have for people that might? It's not just about coaching. It's about I'm nervous about trying to step up to the plate. Maybe I'm not truly ready for coaching, or maybe I don't have what it takes, or maybe I won't be able to change, and I don't know if you had any of those thoughts, but how have you seen your coaching journey, that you were able to get past things?
Jenel Koloski:Yeah, I mean, I guess I would say like when I, when you, became my coach, I barely had any money, but I just knew that I had to take a leap of faith and I didn't put myself in more debt. I knew it was money that I had, but it was still very, very, very, very tight. Um, but I was just so. I needed my life to be better and hit every avenue that your mind can possibly process or even imagine. You need somebody to be like hey in. You need somebody to be like hey here's what we can actually do, and it opens up so much as well and also finding other things that you love in your life that bring joy. I just think there's so many things that can surprise you that you don't even know or you know possible. It's like that person. Having a perspective of somebody who's like, trained and knows what to do to help you broaden your horizons of like, your viewpoint in life, is really important.
Amanda DeBraux:I love that, thank you. Thank you for sharing. Yeah, okay, what's your viewpoint on self-love from when we started to even now?
Jenel Koloski:Yeah, yeah, Uh, when we first started, I thought I loved myself.
Victoria Ealy:but I did.
Jenel Koloski:It's true I thought I did a part of self. Love is like really knowing that your time is so important, your time for yourself and saying no a lot.
Victoria Ealy:Yeah.
Jenel Koloski:Saying no a lot is really important for self love and knowing that challenges are part of that. Yeah, saying no a lot is really important for self-love and knowing that challenges are part of that. Yeah, and yeah, I didn't know any of those things and I and I think it depends on your background too, like if you don't have much knowledge of what that is like, I didn't really know what self-love was. It was really confusing to me. You know, they do all these things on Instagram. It's like self-love and they're like buying themselves something and taking a bath.
Jenel Koloski:I was very confused. I didn't know what that meant. I was like so I just take a bath and that's self-love. I didn't really get it, and they were buying themselves things, which that could be a form of that but I didn't understand deeply what that actually meant, because there's so many different paths for that and it depends on your life. So I have much more access to what self-love is for me personally, and it's so many things, but it's about putting yourself first, and that doesn't mean that you're selfish at all whatsoever, which probably seems very obvious to other people who are possibly watching this. But um, for me it wasn't, and I didn't even know what that meant. So now I know what that means, which is really important. And you still remind me, you know. You're like, well, this is really important. I'm like, oh yeah, that's self-love too, I didn't know is really important. I'm like, oh yeah, that's self-love too. I didn't know I need to do this. This is not. I'm not putting myself first. Um, so yeah, that's how I feel about self-love. Yeah, what?
Victoria Ealy:about self-worth.
Jenel Koloski:Self-worth. Self-worth was for me, I guess, before I was. I always loved being alone and I was very independent soul, but there was definitely still a part of me that wasn't at peace with it in aspects like my finances and at peace with where I'm at in life at my age. And I think us women in the room we all know that, as a woman, society puts a timeline on you that doesn't exist, but you still feel that pressure from loved ones or family and friends or whatever it may be, and it's not their fault, it's just been ingrained in them as well. And so, knowing that, like my self-worth, like it's okay to be where you're at and I'm worthy no matter what I make, I'm worthy no matter where I'm at in my career, and sometimes I still need a baby reminder Today I ran into someone who I hadn't seen in 10 years and it was the parents of a friend that I lost connection with.
Jenel Koloski:But her and I are cool, it's just I haven't seen her in so long and you know I'm sweeping floors and at this place that I love to work at, but still it was like, oh, wow, like you met me when I was at the beginning of my career and I've grown so much, but you have no idea where I'm actually at. You're just sweeping floors and I have hands full of flowers, you know. So I had a moment of just like Ooh, that hurts a little bit that I'm not where I thought I would be, but that's okay, cause life has a lot of curve balls and I had to deal with that, and so I felt a little off. I was like, oh, I feel a little off right now that she's seeing me in this place and she but she has no idea what my story is in 10 years. You know, it's like she saw me in one way 10 years ago and then she blinked, and now here I am, 10 years later.
Jenel Koloski:Um, yeah, so there's no connection there. So I needed a minute and then I was like no, no, no, like that's not what this is about. It has nothing to do with me having more meat, like what she is doing is giving me more meaning. That's not what that's about. It's about where I'm at, and that's okay. So, yeah, just being at peace with where I'm at is, I think, is something that I've learned, and I still need reminders, you know for sure.
Amanda DeBraux:I mean, we all do. I do every day, I remind myself every day. But I think the beauty about that, too, is that and I know your personal story is that you're doing something that you love. You're doing something that you love to do. So you're not where you used to be and you have way more experience and you have a lot more joy in your life than you did years ago, or even months ago, days ago, you know. And so I love that you just grounded yourself and checked in, because what a great awareness to have in that moment to go. I'm not really feeling. Well, I don't know what this is, because most people would suppress that, brush it off, maybe get an attitude, maybe get angry, get you know all these things. But you took the moment. You took the moment and you were like all right, I'm a grandma, so what, what's going on? And I love that you checked in and then you're like all right, no, like whatever that intrusive thought was, it's like, it's not true. So I love that you did that.
Jenel Koloski:And then like how has that showed up? As far as was self-sabotage, yeah, um, I'm not as negative with things, which is good Cause I think you know like in the beginning I was just like a, it was like a snowball effect and I would spiral, um, and I didn't. I didn't realize it was just a thing that I did Um, and I guess I didn't have much faith as well in certain aspects, like not in my capabilities in certain ways, but more just like that I deserve what I want and I would sabotage in that way, not even realize that's what that was, thinking about different avenues of how it couldn't work out, and in the end it always works out. So, yeah, that's for me, that's what I've experienced is like I'm I don't spiral as much more at peace with things. I still have my moments where I'm like texting you and I'm like, hey, but um, nowhere near as as much. Yeah, definitely more at peace with with things.
Amanda DeBraux:I love that and, um, we'll we're rounding this out a little bit but what I just loved having having you as a client, first of all, I think you're amazing and everything you do is just. There's just so much beauty in the things that you do and I'm glad that you're taking those moments to recognize that, because it's so again, so beautiful to see and witness as not just your coach but as admirer of you. So it's, it's really beautiful to see and I thank you so much for you know, coming on the podcast and sharing your story with whoever is listening.
Jenel Koloski:Any last words about just coaching and, um, just life in general and uh, yeah, um, I think well, for coaching, I would just say, like, if you're contemplating it, I would say, if it doesn't feel like the right time, if it doesn't feel like the right time, usually that's the right time yeah, yeah, and have a conversation first before you with you to see if it's the right fit before just dismissing it. Because I did that with you and I was just very honest with where I was at and what I needed and what I could do and what I couldn't do, and you wanted to be there for me and it worked and that showed that you cared more about me than other things, which made a huge difference. You know that you already had that support and you barely knew me. So I would just say, like, just try it. You know, like, just see, like just try it.
Jenel Koloski:Yeah, like the what's the worst that could happen? Got nothing, I guess, cause you just have somebody who's helping you in life. So I don't know what's the worst thing that could happen Nothing, really. Yeah, um, and I guess life in general, like something that I've discovered, is like whatever your version of faith is, trust in it, because it's going to make your life a lot easier.
Amanda DeBraux:Look at you dropping some nuggets here, victoria, okay.
Victoria Ealy:Little nuggets.
Amanda DeBraux:Yes, I love it. Well, thank you so much for joining and I can't wait We'll talk again soon. I'm so proud of you. You know, I know like now like feels weird saying that and I get it, but like I always say that because I know what it's personally, what it's like to not hear that as often even if it's you, don't say it to yourself.
Amanda DeBraux:It's like, no, I'm proud of you, proud of you, you know. So I am very proud of you and I just I'm looking forward to seeing your journey continue and flourish and your next chapter. I'm very excited about your next chapter. Yay, yeah, Thank you. All right, we'll see you another time. Bye, ladies, nice to meet you, janelle, bye, cool. All right, everyone, look at that. You got to meet my amazing client, victoria. What a gift it has been to be her coach.
Amanda DeBraux:And here's the reality Janelle and I have had coaches ourselves. We continue to have coaches If you are looking to level up, if you're looking to heal, if you're looking to just grow in life. Sometimes we can't do it on our own, and that's okay, that is absolutely okay, and that's what Janelle and I offer with our coaching. And on top of that darling I talked about, you know, self-worth and self-love. But particularly what I didn't get to touch with on Victoria is this like those blocks, those limiting beliefs that we talked about in the last episode, and how that is going to help you dive in and find that peace that Victoria talked about within your life and your career and be able to be bold enough to make these decisions, say no in your life. And so that's where we have the course.
Amanda DeBraux:Y'all that is dropping August 1st. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And so you've got a glimpse of coaching, what it's like to coach with me, what it's like to coach for Janelle, if you tuned into her episode, if not, go back and tune into her episode with Justin, so that you can get a glimpse into what it's like to have Janelle as a career planning coach. It makes a big, big, big, big, big difference, and so the beauty about our course is you're getting us both, so you're getting two for one, y'all. You're getting two for one in this course, and so I'm going to be talking about, like I said, limiting beliefs. We're going to dive into your dreams and giving you some tools to navigate challenges throughout your life, as Janelle is going to help you with drum roll.
Victoria Ealy:I'll help you make a career plan. Every creative has eight pillars that they need to include in their plan and it's. It doesn't matter what you're doing. You can make up artist, director, writer, photographer, model, actor. We all need to do the same things. And Victoria talked a lot about balance. It balances craft, business and self-care, and self-care includes the mindset, work, the limiting beliefs I love the Victoria brought up. Oh, I felt this thing coming up in me and I felt essentially judged and a little bit of shame and and that's part of it, that's a big part of it Just being like I see you, but not letting it take over. So I am very excited for our course and, yeah, it's going to be great.
Amanda DeBraux:Yes, we can't wait for you to join. It's going to be week to week. You're going to get some weekly modules for the next four weeks in August. Each module is going to unleash and open up some modules with videos and some tools and meditations and just exercises that you can do to help create clarity, to empower yourself, to define the path that you want to live.
Amanda DeBraux:As far as your career, whether you're an actor, like she said, a model or a painter, or a makeup artist, whatever it is that you want to do with that creative drive that's within you we're going to help you hone that so that you can take the step to start achieving the things that you want. So we're really, really excited. If you have any hesitation whatsoever, let us know, contact us. In the meantime, we do have some free offers. You can get a little taste of what it's like to coach with us and the tools that we provide. So I provide a energy clearing manifestation practice or guide that you can look through. That's going to help you navigate things like self-worth, things like self-love.
Victoria Ealy:Whatever comes up for you in that moment, it will provide some roadmap for you to release it, to acknowledge it and to grow from it, and then Janelle is offering this amazing, amazing thing is their email templates, which doesn't sound that exciting, but every single client I've had they know they need to reach out to casting and tell them that they exist or what they're working on, or say hi, and they know they're supposed to be communicating with their agent. But it's okay. Sometimes nerves will come up and your ego will come up and make, oh no, if you talk to them, they'll. They'll push you out of the industry. But it's just a business. You're sending a kind email to say, hey, I'm throwing my hat in the ring, I'm here to help, I'm a solution to your problem. And so these templates, it's just plug in play. We have so many different kinds casting.
Victoria Ealy:You just met casting that you'd never met that. You want to casting. You met years ago and you're like hello, I'm still here. And agents, they work for you. Baby, you have a team. You do 90% of the work and they do 10, which is why they get 10%. But you guys have to talk to them. So I understand it can be intimidating, scary, if you're not used to doing that. So these templates will help you with all of that.
Amanda DeBraux:Yes, I love that and I've done it myself and it's made a big difference. I booked a project because I sent emails and I cared, you know and just, and I'll round this out, but it matters what I'll speak to. As far as emails and really looking at your career as a business, is the fact that, like using templates like Janelle I said, I fell up with the casting director and a director that I auditioned for for a project Didn't quite get the role that I wanted. They were like yo, we went in a different way. I said, okay, no problem, but I sent an email anyway. I said thank you so much for the opportunity. I had a great time.
Amanda DeBraux:A week goes by that I got the news that I didn't get it. I get a call and saying oh, by the way, the director loved you so much and loved your passion for it. We wrote and created a role for you Y'all. It matters. It makes a big difference. It really makes a big difference. If you love this and you're in it for the long haul, things like mindset and things like understanding that this is a business will get you far, will get you far and create a longevity of this career. So get on it. Check the links below, message us on Instagram, follow us on YouTube on the podcast. Like get on it.
Amanda DeBraux:Do not stop yourself from getting to where you want to go out of fear. Use the fear as fuel to drive that car, to fuel that plane, the boat, whatever it is you want to use. Use it as fuel Because we myself and Janelle we're here for you. We know the challenges that come up and we can help you navigate those things and really be a partner in this journey of life and a guide for you, so that you can feel empowered to walk that path, regardless of the outside circumstances, regardless of the rejection. Regardless of the outside circumstances, regardless of the rejection, regardless of the unwelming circumstances that may come up. You've got this and there's a reason why you want to do that. So believe in that. Like Victoria said, you have to have that belief and that belief has to start with you and has to just. You have to nurture that.
Amanda DeBraux:So thank you so much for joining us for this episode of the podcast and tune in, because we can't wait to see you August 1st. And that's a wrap on this episode of Mindset Artistry Podcast.
Victoria Ealy:Don't forget to like, share and subscribe.
Amanda DeBraux:Catch us every Thursday for a new episode to help you master the art of your mind.