Balancing Act: Kendra Thomas on Merging Purpose and Fitness

What sets Kendra Thomas's journey apart? How did she transition from the bright lights of the acting stage to the serene yet invigorating world of fitness instruction? 

In this episode of the Mindset Artistry Podcast, Kendra, a New York City-based yoga, meditation, and HIIT instructor, shares her unique and compelling story. From overcoming her initial reluctance towards yoga due to negative experiences to finding her true calling, Kendra's narrative is a testament to the transformative power of fitness. She delves into how her acting background enriches her teaching methods, enabling her to forge deep connections with her students and provide them with an empowering and grounding experience.

Discover the challenges and triumphs Kendra faced while shifting her career path, including familial expectations and the personal acceptance of a new passion. Kendra reveals why she chose to specialize in yoga and high-intensity interval training, drawing from her athletic roots to create a safe and motivating environment. We also discuss the importance of varying workout routines to maintain strength, heart health, and motivation, especially as we age. Kendra's balanced approach to fitness, combining yoga, strength training, and low-impact HIIT, offers valuable insights for anyone looking to make their fitness journey effective and enjoyable. Take advantage of this enriching conversation highlighting the significance of following one's passion and its incredible benefits.

Kendra Harris 
IG: @Kendrathomasyoga 
Website: Kendrathomasyoga.com
Use Code BRAVAEB to Join Kendra Harris on retreat in Spain in September.

Follow us on IG @MindsetArtistryPodcast @AmandaDeBraux @JanelKoloskiOfficial.
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#mindset #careerdevelopment #growthmindset #practice #motivation #selfimprovement #wellbeing #SuccessMindset #inspiration #mentalhealth  #HIIT #positivevibes #lifecoach #healthyhabits #lifepurpose #mindsetmatters #ActorSuccess #balance #amandadebraux #actingteacher #janelkoloski  #yoga #goalsetting #actingtips #mindfulness #actor #auditions #manifestation #meditation #lawopfpower #community #podcast #actor #authenticity #justry #easeanxiety  #safe alignment #muscular engagement #high-intensity #interval training

Transcript

Amanda DeBraux: 0:03

This is the Mindset Artistry Podcast. I'm Amanda DeBraux, an actor or actress per your reference, and an inner voice life coach, and I'm Janel .

Janel Koloski: 0:10

Koloski, an actor and career and mindset coach. We're your hosts and we're here to flip your mindset, to teach you the artistry of what we learned to keep your mind in check Over the course of our lives.

Amanda DeBraux: 0:20

we've taken on the journey of healing, living and being authentically ourselves, as we successfully built our individual careers in the entertainment industry.

Janel Koloski: 0:28

This podcast is designed for you so you can discover your goals and courageously reach them at your highest potential, while being a hundred and thousand percent yourself.

Amanda DeBraux: 0:37

What you'll get from us is real dirty and okay, a little more like a lot of quirky, along with special elite guests that nurture empathy and create a safe space without judgment. So get ready to build a mindset that is unapologetically you and excel beyond the stars. Welcome to the Mindset Artistry Podcast.

Janel Koloski: 1:00

That's good. Welcome back to Mindset Artistry. I am so excited to have our guest today, kendra Thomas. She's so amazing so I'm going to tell you all a little bit about her and then we'll get into it.

Janel Koloski: 1:11

Kendra is a New York City-based yoga, meditation and HRT instructor. Although always an athlete, it took a while to find her way to teaching. When she realized how many people she could help, not only physically but also mentally, she threw herself in head first. She has made it her goal to help people find their strength and leave each session class feeling more grounded and empowered, while laughing and letting go of stress one breath at a time. It's true, I've been there crying at the end of every session. It's awesome.

Janel Koloski: 1:38

With roughly a decade of experience under her belt, she continues to grow and refine her personal teaching style, as she is always seeking to expand her breadth of knowledge. Whether she's teaching yoga or strength, her focus is on safe, proper alignment and muscular engagement for each individual. When she is in teaching in-person classes or private lessons in NYC, she can be found consulting with studios, guest teaching, internationally and on retreat. And on retreat, she's assisted in creating unique class concepts for various yoga studios and helps bring to life, the signature meditation and HIIT class for MindBodyProject. As one of the two founding instructors. Currently she's developing a sculpt program for HeatWise and will oversee future trainings. Find her in NYC at the Well and HeatWise or join her on retreat where she offers meditation, hiit, high intensity training and yoga. Okay, kendra, you've got a lot going on here and I am so excited to have you on the podcast. I hated yoga. I didn't hate, yoga itself.

Janel Koloski: 2:36

But I kept going to these classes and I don't know I know my body from being a dancer and people kept wanting to like me, to push me in a way that I wasn't comfortable with and I just knew it wasn't safe for my body. And then there was this weird comparison thing and I thought I was like, I thought we were all on our own journey. I don't understand. So then I started doing it at home, but I hated it, because I do push myself a little more in a group environment and I enjoy the community of a yoga class, and so I'm so glad you exist and also you're an actor. You're always an actor, I think. So you were an actor first and then you transitioned to teaching.

Kendra Thomas: 3:16

Okay, that was a mouthful First off. Thank you guys for thinking of me and for having me on. Janelle, you know how much I love you and I'm so glad you know. You came into my class one day and were very trepidatious and you you kind of explained all that shit to me. You were like, sorry, can I curse? Okay, um, I curse a lot, um. But yeah, you explained all that to me and I was like it's cool.

Janel Koloski: 3:43

I would love to know how you like, yeah, your acting journey first, like how you transitioned into teaching, and then, yeah, I want to talk a lot more about how fitness is for everyone.

Kendra Thomas: 3:53

Yes, okay, gorgeous, gorgeous, okay, it's. It's actually um, really interesting to me that, like. So, when you guys asked me to do this podcast, I was like I looked it up, I watched, listened to some episodes and I was like this is primarily for actors. She doesn't know that. I used to act Right and I was like I wonder if I can offer something, you know, for this community. And yada, yada, yada.

Kendra Thomas: 4:17

So long story short, I acted for years. I loved acting. It's in my blood. I grew up doing it. Um, but it's a hard. It's a hard, you know, path to forge and and even though I was all in like it, it, I needed something that brought me joy. And so I started really jumping into yoga, um, just as a practitioner at first. And then, you know, as the years chipped away and I was like one opportunity, like I needed like a little more relief, and so I decided to do, um, like about a decade ago, a teacher training um for yoga. I didn't know that I'd teach, I didn't know that it would be the thing Um did the training, decided to teach a class or two and just see if it resonated, and I was in love and I just fucking, without even realizing it, just was so enthralled by like helping people, motivating people, um, inadvertently or like directly, like either intentionally meaning to like by with, with, because of the words I was using or the physical things I was offering, or indirectly, just because of the experience they had, that I sort of just I didn't fall out of love with acting.

Kendra Thomas: 5:33

I will always love acting and there is something extremely performative about being a teacher You're on baby, like that's it. So I think it nourished my soul in a way. Teaching, um that I hadn't felt from acting, because I never personally got to that place where I was being nourished by my craft in the acting world. Um, enough, and uh, so I fell into it. I like stumbled into teaching and then I like literally snowballed like full force, downhill but downhill but uphill, like in like a really positive way towards like growth and and and learning and expanding my knowledge so I could continue to offer more to these people. Sorry, that was really long-winded.

Amanda DeBraux: 6:29

No, that was great.

Amanda DeBraux: 6:30

I love the fact that you were an actor and I think the thing that me and Janelle very much want to nurture in our audience is that we are multifaceted people and creatives and we have so many passions and outlets that can feed our soul and our purpose, and so I love that you were an actor.

Amanda DeBraux: 6:49

I'm curious on when do you think the moment was, or was it a thought, as we link mindset, that helped you give in, willingly to like I, I think I'm going to set aside acting for a while, even though I still love it, like I'm not saying no to it and I want to explore being a teacher on this level, as you said, like I found more joy in it, like it's really fulfilling me, like it sounds like it fulfilled something in you that the acting didn't necessarily do at that time and not to say that it won't, but that at that time it didn't and you found yoga and teaching, and so what was that moment? Or if there were moments that linked to that mindset to go, I'm giving in now and I'm trusting in the fact that my joy is telling me this is it.

Kendra Thomas: 7:39

Okay, also, just to preface, my dog is in the background, so if you hear like weird fucking squeaking and like things, that's my dog. Sorry, it's not me with a weird squeaking fetish, sorry. So so many moments I feel like it was so many things. It was like literally the first class I taught. I was so scared at first and then you know, almost like when you go and you first day on set or right before a performance on stage, you have that like that like nerve thing, like I had that before the teaching, and then all of a sudden it just like melted away and there was a performance factor to it. And this happened over the course of, you know, several I'd say like several months, as I was like sort of doing it as like a fun thing on the side, where it just started to feel more and more natural and people resonated with me and for some reason there I felt like I was offering more. I don't think I can pinpoint like one specific thing, but I just knew like the minute I was offered like a full-time teaching gig which would like make it financially sustainable in New York city, that's when I kind of knew I needed to lean into it and you know, I would still. I mean, my agent has kind of gone like Kendra, you don't give a shit, but like whatever. So it may. He may not even send me anything, but, like you know, if he threw me like a voiceover audition, I would lay it down in a second, not because I felt like I didn't want to say I fell out of love with acting, I just fell deeper in love with teaching. Who knows what the world has to offer, but I would. I didn't close the door on it, I just like to kind of to what you said. I kind of accepted this is the path right now and that's okay. And a lot of it was also like familial, like I had this like need to please and satisfy and uh, there was that expectation from my family. And then I went to college for theater. I grew up doing whatever. There was that expectation from my family. And then I went to college for theater. I grew up doing whatever.

Kendra Thomas: 9:55

And once my family saw how passionate I was about teaching and how naturally it just was so deeply in me, so quickly, I think the pressure to make the other thing happen also sort of shifted and I gave myself permission to just say let's put this on this little back burner over here. No one's going to be mad, you're not? You know, you know you're not going to get a little slap on the hand. You're not that that would have actually happened.

Kendra Thomas: 10:15

But like the weird psychosis we go through, that, like mental jogging, where we're like I have to please everybody, I said I was going to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this. And where we're like I have to please everybody, I said I was going to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this. And like, yeah, you need that, you need that in the acting world, you need that in any fucking industry. If you're going to succeed, you have to have that. And I guess the short answer is I just felt more of a pull to it in that moment. Like there was a span of months. I felt this pull of like I need to do this and I need to do this. Well, I need to do this better than it's been done. I need you know what I mean. Like that.

Janel Koloski: 10:49

Yeah, that makes sense and I think that's really wonderful that you chose to chase something that aligned with you and follow through with that, because I mean, for anybody listening, there's a lot of fear around that, like you said, like getting a slap on the wrist, and sometimes people really do try to hold you in one spot and we've done whole episodes about that and it's all about feeling safe, really, because it's what you know. So I would love to know more about why you teach specifically, you teach the yoga and the high intensity interval training, and what made you choose those, because, although the yoga you do is pretty intense at times, you know not as intense as the, you know, high interval thing. So tell me more about that and what attracted you to those.

Kendra Thomas: 11:38

So I was an athlete always. So it was like, even like in junior high high school, I would do the fall play or like whatever the spring play and I would swim. Even like in junior high high school, I would do the fall play or like whatever the spring play and I would swim in the other season Like I always did both, like I was a competitive athlete and an actor and I went to college for the acting, but the athleticism was always there. Um, and I did yoga for years and I kept getting injured but I was like it's fine, it was fine, you know, and cause the teachers I'd be like, oh, my wrist hurts, and they'd be like that's too bad, or like make fists and like, no, like actual solutions. I'm getting to the answer, I promise. Um, I was an athlete for years.

Kendra Thomas: 12:19

I spent years participating in in in yoga, like as a, as a practitioner only and feeling like I loved it. But once I did my teacher training and I did a really good one. I had really intelligent teachers in terms of anatomy and all that stuff. It jogged my need and, like I mentioned, to be better and to do better for other people. So my mindset in that moment was how do I make this mine Like, yes, this is yoga, this is that hundreds of years of like, tradition and whatnot. And how do I make this authentic to me, and that personally, for the yoga specifically, was I'm going to teach a class that is smart and that is safe, that will let people find strength and like healthy, and that was an aggressive squeak moment. Um, that will help them, uh, you know, be feel safe and strong in their bodies, right? So, like, you can come to me never having done yoga, and it's going to be challenging, but I'll make you feel like you've walked away, having learned something, having felt accomplished, like it's.

Kendra Thomas: 13:33

I try to build people up because I think there's too much of the opposite in this world, no matter what we're talking about, especially amongst women. I think it's less and less each day, but I think there's a tendency for us to put other people down and not bolster each other up. Or you don't look the way you should look, so maybe you shouldn't be in this class. Fuck that. You know what I mean. Um, so I, I have a strong personality. I don't change who I am just because I'm teaching yoga. I show up and I give you myself as authentically as I can, um, and in terms of, like the strength stuff, um, that all kind of happened so organically.

Kendra Thomas: 14:16

I was actually brought onto the project because of my meditation expertise. So, um, because you know, I try to be well-rounded and I believe wholeheartedly in meditation. It's the reason I'm less of an asshole, um, as is yoga, like honestly, like it really helps and I can tell when I haven't been meditating enough, because that's it. So I was brought on to this, this one studio that was opening in 2021.

Kendra Thomas: 14:43

My body project is like the meditation person, um, and originally it was going to be like meditation and and yoga and hit the hit stuff and I didn't know shit. I mean, I'd gone to the gym and lifted weights, but, like as an athlete, but I didn't really know anything about weightlifting and training and so I had to learn a lot. So I jumped in there, you know, feeling like a fish out of water with so much of it. I took a big risk and I offered what I offered, um, my knowledge, and I stayed really open to all of the learning and all of the opportunity, and it was scary as hell and I felt like an imposter for, like, all eight months of training and before we opened, you know I mean this happens. You learn a new skill set, a new accent for a role like it doesn't feel natural in your bodies, in your minds, in your being for a while, and now it actually has become like a really cool way for me to offer more balance for people. So I teach strength at the well, for instance, and I also teach yoga there, so you can get a very different side of me depending upon which class of mine you take.

Kendra Thomas: 15:58

And then my latest venture, the whole sculpt thing, is just because I think and this is not me throwing shade at anybody in the sculpt world, but I think like there's a lot of sculpty type classes that are really unsafe.

Kendra Thomas: 16:11

Teachers don't know what they're doing, and that is not my MO. Safe Teachers don't know what they're doing, and that is not my MO. I really want people to know what they're doing and when they're teaching so they can help people, not hurt people, so that they keep feeling better and coming back. So, long story short, that's kind of the journey. It was strictly yoga, meditation, and then, right before the pandemic hit, I was offered this opportunity to provide my expertise and then ultimately grew as a result of that, which was super fucking cool, and then that did close, which was really sad. But because the whole premise of that space was like let's offer you mental and physical well-being in 50 minutes because you don't make time for both, we're going to help you, and now I'm just trying to take my little bit of knowledge that I have as an athlete and teach other teachers to do what they do hopefully better, more responsibly, so we can help more people.

Amanda DeBraux: 17:14

I commend you for what you're doing. Congratulations on all of that. I think it takes a lot of courage and, you know, just believing in yourself and I think there was a. What I heard was a seamless through line that was there. That's authenticity of finding how you can contribute to this vast community and what the things that you didn't like that aligned again with you right?

Amanda DeBraux: 17:42

You know these classes where I've hurt my wrist many times, I've hurt my ankles and I'm always like telling people I'm like, oh, I can't do that, you know, and eventually I've learned how to do it and navigating that. But it's always better when you have someone who's a teacher in these classes, who's well-rounded, well-educated and has a care and passion for it, that they're going to pause and go okay, here, let me figure out what's going to work for you and here's the knowledge and not force you to do something that eventually will lead to long-term damage or pain and you're like, oh, but I'm doing, great, I should be doing more, and then that messes with your clients and whoever attend your class and then they may not come back because it's not authentic and it's not healthy. And so I really appreciate what you're doing because I think we need that more because it's gotten to be like more of a fad, like a zeitgeist of the moment and anybody, who's anybody and this is no shade to anyone else either who wants to do something, it's you have a knowledge, go for it and learn more. Don't think that you know everything, because wisdom takes time, and so I love that you've, throughout your journey, you've paused, you did the research and then the hit like you didn't know about it and you were so honest about that. So for anyone who's listening like, don't be afraid of learning something new and then recognizing.

Amanda DeBraux: 19:01

I love what you said about the fact that you felt like you were imposter when you learn something new, because we feel that way all the time, because it's not who we naturally are, and so now we're integrating something like oh new, like an accent, like you said, or a new career or a new goal or any new role, and I think that also goes with anything that you're doing in life. So I love that. I just wanted to point that out and how that, again, authenticity, mindset, patience, time, dedication, passion all align with how you can fulfill your purpose and the thing that you're meant to do. So good, so good. Tell me a bit about, because I I'm a little tense for me, I'm a little weak when I try to be you know. But tell me a bit about.

Janel Koloski: 19:49

You don't want to see me, amanda. It was funny. What Kendra, what was? I was in? My feet were in something hanging from the ceiling of that trx yeah, the trx. Amanda wasn't there. It was really funny. I mean, I've laughed at amanda and I've had like surfing crazy things where she broke a nail. Girl came long nails surfing, called in, the sharks brought her roller skating. You missed that party, kendra. It was the party of the year, my birthday and she almost broke her wrist, so maybe we should not be together.

Janel Koloski: 20:17

Trx. Yes, tell us all about it, because I don't know what I was doing.

Kendra Thomas: 20:20

So yeah, the trx is amazing. It's like a really really cool contraption, like you can even have it like in your home, and essentially it was like developed by like military specialists to like help them work out when they were like on field Right, um, and I might be like getting the exact like wrong, but that's it. It's like super basic, like carabiners and cloth and whatever. Um, clip it up, done, put it in a door, done Though I did do that once with like a not so secure door and the door flew open and that was not safe. So don't just, don't just be smart. So, yeah, the TRX was part of the class at MindBody Project and it was really really, really cool because, um, it's not weights, it's your body weight and you get to scale the intensity based upon, like you know, if you step your feet forward, it gets more intense. If you're feeling like it's a little too much for you today, you step your feet backward and it makes it so that you can then like train your pushup without your full body weight and you don't feel weak, you feel accomplished. Um, it's a, it's a really excellent training tool. Um, but yeah, uh, that that's really cool. Hit is. It is great, I think, I think I think people go a little crazy and they're like I gotta do it five days a week. I'm like yo, you don't want to do that. You're like I'm I'm not going to say my age, but I'm not in my twenties anymore and like I, probably in my twenties would have been like, yeah, let's go, it's hard, like, but you can't at a certain point in time, like it's too much for your body, and so you know, I think it's important, it's important for heart rate, it's important to get like that, especially for women. Again, strength, that muscle building, as as we age especially, it's really, really important. So, lifting the weights, you know, doing that like impact work, um, and you can also do high intensity interval training without impact. You don't have to do like jumping and weird, crazy stuff, um, but I do love it, I think it's great, I think it's a fantastic compliment to. It's a fantastic compliment to yoga, which the yoga I teach is not just like stretchy, stretchy yoga, it's like let's learn how to stretch smart, let's find the strength on the stretch.

Kendra Thomas: 22:34

But I still think, you know, we need to be doing different things with our bodies. You can't do the same. It's like the definition of crazy. You do the same thing over and over and, over and over again and expect a different result. That's crazy. We have to vary things up and I think that ties in really well, probably, with your listeners because, and with my experience, like going back to acting days just to like tie it all in, like there were periods in time where I was doing the same thing every single day and I wasn't seeing results and at a certain point, it's like, well, this is crazy, this isn't working, like I got to try something different, I got to shake it up, I got to go, you know, and it's. You can say that about just about anything I think in life and being able to offer a variety of things for my students, everything from like meditation, which is supposed to induce a sleep, like state, all the way down to like this high intensity where you're feeling like like different ways of empowering people, helping to ground people, like it's really cool for me to be able to offer that and now to feel fully authentic in it.

Kendra Thomas: 23:43

It's been 2021 is when I started like training and doing my personal training stuff. What year are we in? 2024. It took. It took a solid, solid year plus, and I do think that that's as hard as it was, and I tell people this all the time. I don't know everything. I have so much learning to do, so much. I'm looking for the next training, looking for the next thing that I could do, the next person who I can learn from and grow from, and I'm happy to be able to offer like a nugget of like wisdom, if you can call it that like to people, but like, I do think, as scary as it is to keep pushing ourselves and growing and learning, we have to, you know, because that's physically, mentally, when you stop. Like that's when we, in my opinion, get old, like that's when things stagnate and you stop like existing fully. I know that sounds maybe cliche or cheesy, but no, I, I kind of agree.

Amanda DeBraux: 24:47

I was thinking very morbid thoughts. I was like that's when you die because your soul has nothing to live for.

Kendra Thomas: 24:52

I didn't want to say that I'm really morbid.

Amanda DeBraux: 24:53

I said, man, take a seat. I said, take a seat, I'm not going to say it, but then I did. Someone needed to hear it. Okay, so let's not, let's continue to live.

Amanda DeBraux: 25:01

I think what you said was pretty cool because I think I kind of want to circle back to like mindset and stuff. I mean not mindset, meditation. You talked about how you had a really, you know, passion and knowledge about meditation and and again, how that is very parallel and correlates with our body and our mind and how you know the sleep, sleep state. But then it's like also a state of heightenedness and awareness because we can we get to like pause, connect or just like discover and all these things that can come into my meditation. And we talk about meditation all the time and we have so many people talk about the importance of it and I'm pretty sure people are sick of it, but I'm not. So meditation is really good, you know, and I do feel a difference when I'm not doing it, Like you said.

Amanda DeBraux: 25:50

Like sometimes you start getting like oh, my ego starts to come into play when I'm not pausing and then the competitive thoughts come in, the comparison of other people. What is success? No, I should be doing this, I could be doing that. All the things that come into play when we're not pausing and realigning or reconnecting or just clearing out. That's all that this is. As actors and creatives, because you have been in the industry. What are three helpful tips for actors that they can use to realign themselves in meditation or to help them through challenging moments like, oh my gosh, I have anxiety, I have a self-tape, or oh I, um, I'm getting ready to be on set and I don't know, like if I'm meant to be here those thoughts that can arise in these moments of our success or career. That's what I meant to say.

Kendra Thomas: 26:46

Okay, I'm also going to give you another disclaimer. My dog is trying to get me to throw her ball and she is in the background being a real dick, so I'm ignoring her, but if it escalates I might have to get the ball and throw it. Just saying Meditation, okay. So here's the thing. I resisted the whole meditation thing for a really long time and it didn't do me any good. Um, and I think because, like I'm not a person who does well with like people telling me to do something you know what I mean you tell me to do it. I'm like, hmm, fuck off, you know, uh, maybe when I went to I'll get into it, and so for years I did it and I was fine, but like it probably would have helped me in that the three things I would say that could have helped me and might be helpful not just to actors but to anybody, is like especially we've all experienced those moments of like.

Kendra Thomas: 27:36

Basically, the crux of like, anxiety and stress, as I'm sure you guys know and you've talked about is is like when your thoughts spiral to things that are in the past, that you cannot change, and when your thoughts spiral to things that are like to come, that are completely out of your fucking control, right, like you're not actually in the moment, when you're in that anxiety, like you are, but you aren't. Meditation is really cool because even if everybody's like I have to do 20 minutes, I have to do 30 minutes, and then they don't do it because they feel like they have to do so much of it and it's too much, and it's like that. It's like someone telling you you have to climb fucking Mount Kilimanjaro. You're not going to do that, just walk up a little hill, you're fine. Five minutes, like I would say the three main things just do it, it doesn't matter. Like, if it's three breaths, right, and you take those conscious breaths, like the scientifically proven breath where, like, your exhale is twice as long as your inhale. You do it three times. I guarantee you're not going to stop at three. Just breathe, just remember to breathe and, like, focus on your breath and stop worrying about whether you get it right or get it perfect, because that's not a thing.

Kendra Thomas: 28:46

Your mind. If the most annoying thing and I said it for years myself is when someone's like yeah, but my mind just wanders too much, I'm like that's literally its job, it's doing the right thing and that's okay, and so I would say like another thing I would offer is don't worry about getting things right, like we spend so much of our life worrying about getting it right. Just try, just show up, just do your best and like five minutes, two minutes, one minute deep breaths. Try not to like fixate how good or how bad. It's not performative and if you're a performer it's probably for anybody right.

Kendra Thomas: 29:30

But especially if you're a performer, remembering that something doesn't need to be right, doesn't need to be perfect, doesn't need to be performed perfectly well for it to have been a success is hard. So don't show up to your meditation or your 10 breaths before your audition thinking you need to perform them perfectly. Just breathe and do that for you. Because if you do and you just like surrender to your breath a lot of the time, those like really pesky, pesky, pesky, pesky, like thoughts that are just like not productive and like searing little, like tiny holes in your brain and like working against any positive outcome you might actually have If you can just breathe and focus like they just kind of flutter away. I feel like for most of us and I know it sounds like such bullshit if you've never experienced it, but it's like if you sounds like such bullshit, if you've never experienced it, but it's like if you just do it, if you just try.

Janel Koloski: 30:25

I didn't specify three things I kind of did, but I didn't fully. Oh, but this is so helpful. I mean, I think I'm like a professional anxious person. Um, amanda has been trying to help me for years, you know, and I was just talking to my therapist about it today. Like I wasn't taught to self soothe A lot of us weren't, I don't know.

Janel Koloski: 30:43

I remember watching Andrew, my boyfriend, like talking to his kids and like they were upset and then he was having like a real conversation with them about that and I was like what the fuck? What is this, you know, and like it was so beautiful. I was crying because I was like you know, and then I was really taught the only way I could be safe is if people outside of me told me I was safe. Nobody taught me to empower myself with like you can meditate and find the safety in your body. And now you know, and my third is I'm finally getting there. But that's why I'm so anxious all the time, time, because it's like you know, and it gets frustrating, because even something happened the other day and I was too anxious about it and I had to call him and I wanted to be just like no, just meditate and breathe and, like you probably know the answer to this and I was right, but I just needed him to hear him say it and I hate that.

Janel Koloski: 31:40

I hate that I have to have that type of assurance sometimes. But I mean, have you always? I mean, he's he, I don't know if it's all the weed he smokes, but like he's always kind of like chill. So have you always been like this confident with this? I know meditation wasn't always a thing your whole life, but, um, I mean, I know you've probably always been bold. I think everybody in this room today is very bold. Person doesn't like to be told what to do, but I guess what advice would you have for people that you know beyond? Like just meditate, like just go with the flow and like how you found your path with the physical stuff and the teaching, you just went with it. Some people are afraid to death to take the those steps Cause they're like I have no guarantee. Anyway, that was a lot whatever you have.

Kendra Thomas: 32:27

No, it's, it's super valid. Um, is this going to sound really annoying? But I'm the person kind of you mentioned it. Like, whatever I do, I know I'm going to give it 110% and I'll probably be okay. Um, and I I'm luckily not a very anxious person, though I think everybody struggles with anxiety, especially if you're just like trying to exist as a human in this world.

Kendra Thomas: 32:52

And like pay bills, like in New York city, right. Like, for instance, like there's going to be anxiety about like can I actually make money, like I still to this day, like I'm hosting two retreats this year and like I've hit the numbers for one and I haven't hit the numbers for the other. And like these anxious thoughts come up and like just meditating doesn't make that go away. They keep coming back. And like I think learning to sit with discomfort is huge Learning to for me at least, because when you care about something, you're going to have big feelings about it, and whether you know how to self-soothe or you need someone else's approval, or whether it's a therapist or whatever, there will be moments where you can't self-soothe or you don't have that person for your approval and I think like the hardest thing is having to sit with the discomfort in a lot of ways. Um, I don't know where you want me to go with that, but um, I'm not, like I don't know, a therapist. I, I tell people all the time I'm like I'm not a therapist, like I don't have it all figured out at all. Um, I'm like I'm not a therapist, like I don't have it all figured out at all. I'm just, I'm just trying my best and I have to be. You know what it is. This is what it fucking is.

Kendra Thomas: 34:07

You have to be willing to fail, and I've said it before and I will say it again I forget who it was that mentioned this but like, really, really, really successful people obviously don't get it right the first time they fail. They get a lot of no's, make a lot of mistakes, and you have to be willing to be okay with the fact that you messed something up and you didn't get it right and continue to stay open to what might come. It's like keep trying, keep trying, keep failing. Like when I was in the learning stages of this new skill set. I, I mean, I wouldn't necessarily call it failing, but I wasn't doing it the way I wanted it to be done, the way it should be done, which is where that imposter thing came in, and I think this goes with again with anything you might be learning jousting or something I don't fucking know, but like sword fighting, like fencing.

Kendra Thomas: 35:04

I did that for a little while and it was fun, but I wasn't very good at it. Um, the inside of my brain is like, I think like, yeah, failure, failure being comfortable, failure being comfortable with sitting, with the possibility of, of disappointment, I think, and I think like meditation can help with that. It's not going to solve, it's not, it's not going to solve it, but it at least can provide that moment of pause so that like, instead of like reacting impulsively and freaking out, and like throwing your laptop on the floor, like maybe you take a deep breath and you go, let me call my person for a little advice or let me write my feelings down so I can do a little self soothing, like meditation can help with those things, I think, if you're consistent, and so can the physical stuff. Go, go, make me stop talking.

Amanda DeBraux: 35:56

No, no no, no, that was great. I think everything that you said was helpful. I love what you said about like living in the discomfort and like embracing the failure, because failure is inevitable. But it's about your perception and your thoughts about around failure, right? Like you said, every successful person will tell you they failed so many times and they still fail, but they keep going. That's the difference. They don't let the failure define them. And, like I wish I would have known that or at least had that thought, because, like I did swimming in high school for like one yeah, I love swimming, um and then.

Amanda DeBraux: 36:32

But I did swimming and my thing was like free um, backstroke and freestyle. That was my thing. Everything else I was like this this breaststroke ain't working for me. Guys, I'm looking like a pelican flying in the water. It just didn't look right for me and it didn't work. But I remember a distinct moment when we were doing a meet and it was backstroke and I'm doing it, I'm going and I'm like I made it. I did the flip and I can feel myself beating everyone around me, but I got so excited that I stopped before I touched the wall.

Amanda DeBraux: 37:08

Yeah, and when I got up and went and stood, I was about like this much away from the wall and someone else touched it before I did, and I was like what? They were like keep going, keep going. And I was like what, what do you mean? I didn't. They're like, no, you did. I was like oh my gosh, and so I end up not even getting first, second, I think I got like third place because it was like you know, they were right there, but I, you know, I kind of held that in and I was like I don't want to do this anymore, even though I knew I was good at it.

Amanda DeBraux: 37:43

There was a sense of disappointment and like the fact that I failed in front of other people. It wasn't just me, it's like I failed in front of others and I didn't realize it. And when you said that, I was like oh wow, that's probably one of the reasons why I kind of stopped, even though I loved swimming, because I was afraid of reliving that moment and not living past it. So I held on to the failure and it made it define me and never went back to it in a way that it would have actually fulfilled me. But, yeah, in other moments in my life I've come across failure and conquered it and got back up like no problem, like with acting and things like that. So I just find it very interesting that you said that you know, like when you come across the discomfort and when you come across failure. And now I know that and like, yeah, I think you inspired me. I'm like, damn, I should start swimming again because I kind of miss it. But um, I just I really do. I find it was the best body I ever had swimming. It was the best freaking body like abs, and I mean it was great. Anyway, I digress.

Amanda DeBraux: 38:45

The point I was making was the fact that if you take a moment and like pause and do the meditation or even just self-reflect, it doesn't necessarily mean you have to sit down and like be quiet and silence your mind, cause that's what they say in the Buddhist, like you gotta be perfect and you know you gotta get the wisdom. It's just that self-reflection will help you evolve and like redirect you, realign you or clear whatever it is that you need to in order to make those choices Right. And I think you did that when you decided like oh, I need to do the hit, like, okay, I'm gonna learn. Like you pause, and even though you were facing the imposter syndrome, you still went through, you still follow through and you came out on the other side. There's always an other side to come out of.

Amanda DeBraux: 39:31

And again, I don't know who needed to hear that, but today I'm preaching, I don't know, like hello, it's coming to me.

Amanda DeBraux: 39:38

I might as well, but anyway, the point is, what I wanted to make is that everything that you've done and I always say this, like everything is purposeful, not purposeless. So you, being an actor like who you are today, everything's kind of like full circle, at least from my perspective. Right, you're talking to other actors and creatives who may have other things that they're interested in, but maybe hesitant to actually pursue it because they are afraid of letting go of this identity that they've held on to for so long, based on people pleasing and the roles that we have to play in people's lives, the fulfillment of others. And so I encourage everybody take a moment and really ask yourself what do you want to do and how do you want to impact the world, because I think you did that. I want to know a bit more about these retreats that you have coming up, because I know you said you have one that you're fulfilling and then the others, and I know you have one that's in May and I believe in September.

Kendra Thomas: 40:33

So tell me a bit more about those retreats and how our audience members can get involved and get to know you a bit more and get active um, I want to I'll touch on the retreats, but I just, you said something, um, about like the people pleasing and acting and the thing like that, and like I think part of like what I needed to be told, cause, you know, there's such a culture and I don't know where you guys fall on this spectrum but there's such a culture in the acting world of like, oh, you can't have a backup. If you have a backup, you're not an actor, you're not a real actor, and that like immense, like guilt and shame you live with. How dare you? You have something else you love as much, blah, blah, blah. And so I think that was part of it. Like not even, like, it's just like, oh, you're not a real actor if you like doing something else for your life, like, fuck that, fuck that you could be more than one thing and in fact, you're probably a more interesting person if you do more than one thing. Hollywood, take a note, just kidding. Just kidding, sorry. I grew up in Hollywood so I can say this Okay, so I digress. So that's why I want people to be kinder to themselves and give themselves more credit and more grace and more leeway, to be a fuller person and wear more hats and anyway. So if you want, you can come on retreat. This is it's one of my favorite things in the world.

Kendra Thomas: 42:03

I'm going to the Catskills in just under two weeks, um, with a lovely group of like 11, uh, people, which is a small-ish group for me, but a good size. I'm really excited about it because basically on these retreats it's primarily yoga. There will always be some meditation. Once in a while I'll throw in like a body weight HIIT class. It just depends on if the demand is there. Like in Portugal last year, everybody wanted HIIT so I had to like add extra classes in Crazy people. But it's just.

Kendra Thomas: 42:35

These retreats are something I love traveling and I think a lot of people love traveling but planning is daunting, traveling solo is daunting. Finding the people, the friends that you know, like, making it like, coordinating all of those things is daunting, and so I decided I wanted to offer these retreats so that basically, I could get to get, get, give people who are like-minded an opportunity to travel with less stress. Like your meals are, like you're good, like your transfer, everything's set up and it's not like. I don't know if you picked up on it, but I'm not like and I don't care if you're a vegan or not a vegan, or I'm not super granola, like you know. Do you want to wake up, we'll do some fitnessy stuff. We'll go and like explore museums or take a hike or ride horses or whatever any number of things. But then, when it comes time to like hang out and chill, we're going to chat, we're going to laugh, we it has been, and I'm like I'll get into more details. But like these retreats and this is like my, my soft pitch for anybody who's been on the fence I have watched these retreats and this is just my small, limited people group of people that I've touched like people have made lifelong friends. We get together in different capacities, like two or three here, a couple here, go on a hike, go to dinner, grab drinks. Like it just takes things to the next level and because it's a big enough group, like if you hate someone, you don't really have to talk to them, it's fine, you know, and if you vibe with somebody you know, and then like you can go and explore together and learn, like it's such a powerful, strong experience and like really fun. You get to see me a little tipsy, probably once in a while, which is probably too much and a little ridiculous.

Kendra Thomas: 44:27

But the next one. So Catskills is closed for registration. Unless you want, like, dm me and I could probably like get you in there. It's May 19th through the 22nd. I picked those dates. It's the Sunday through the Wednesday, right before Memorial day weekend. I picked those dates so that people force themselves to take a full week off before Memorial day and whatever they plan for that, like come, come with me Sunday, monday, tuesday, leave Wednesday morning, go live your life, but like have a full week for yourself, because it's hard for us to take time for ourselves.

Kendra Thomas: 44:59

Um, and then the next one is Spain, uh, costa Brava. Spain in September, it's a week, uh, six days. And Costa Brava, if you don't know about it, is like located. I'm American so my geography skills are really terrible, but I did research. Obviously it's kind of like close to like the south of France border, so it's right on the Mediterranean. The place we're staying is like has a private entrance to the Mediterranean Ocean. You can go like snorkeling and, like you know, cliff dive into the water, or you can just walk along the cliffs and look at the gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous views, a bunch of medieval villages all over the place that you can walk to and explore Beautiful art and history and museums. Obviously good food, good wine. So yeah, it's going to be really excellent, really fun.

Kendra Thomas: 45:54

I think I've only got like three singles left, but a bunch of doubles, so it's a great opportunity to grab your sister, your mother, you know, your friend, like I've had that happen a lot, which is really cute. Um, significant other. But men tend to be a little bit like oh, I don't go on yoga retreats and I want them to because they'd have fun. I'm actually trying to encourage these women who come. Some of them are on their third or fourth retreat with me now and I've got boyfriends and spouses now and everything is sort of shifting. Bring them, the guys can all hang out.

Janel Koloski: 46:28

It's like Andrew would come. He's one of the girls, he's so cool.

Kendra Thomas: 46:34

Yeah, I only met him like twice, but he was so sweet.

Janel Koloski: 46:37

Yeah, he's a sweetie and he can walk in heels better than I can, so he's all about it, and he's actually the reason I started coming back to yoga, because when we started dating I, you know I was like all right, well, I'll do it with you, but I'm not going to a class, you know? Um, so I love this, okay. Well, I have one more question for you before we jump off of here, and I love everything you've been saying. Can you speak to? You know, taking time for yourself, like for me? I w.

Janel Koloski: 47:04

I'm definitely afraid of that. I actually don't believe I have time to relax, because it feels like everything will fall apart. That is how I live my life, um, even especially being a model and actor, like, if you're not around, someone else can get the job, and Amanda and I had talked about this before. It's changed now with self tapes. That's helped me a lot and you can literally be anywhere. But I literally have a core belief that I'm like always meditating through is like you can't relax, you can't, you can't be away, all your work will vanish and you'll starve. I don't know, but it's really like I don't know. I have. No, I just don't feel the freedom. So what do you see in people Like why can't other than me and my craziness? Why don't they take that time for themselves?

Kendra Thomas: 47:55

Oh, my goodness, I am fucking guilty as charged. So I don't work in a job where I get paid vacation, like you guys. When I'm not working, a, I'm not getting paid. B, I'm missing out on opportunities, right Connections, things happening like meeting a person who's going to invite me to come and teach in Berlin, like that's the tech, like you miss it.

Kendra Thomas: 48:21

So I, again, I don't have it all figured out by any stretch of the imagination I don't know how to take days off, I don't know how to stay and say no, but I've been like it's, it's so. It's such a debilitating thing Similar, I think, to you where it's like I've had to reframe it, because here's the thing, that you can either look at it as something negative or you're privileged to have enough drive. I am so lucky to be able to make myself available to, to be. You know what I mean To be healthy enough to like, and I think that's really valuable, like how we frame our thoughts, how we choose to spin Right, because it's mindset is a choice in a lot of ways.

Kendra Thomas: 49:07

And, um, again, I'm not a therapist, I don't have any fucking answers for not any, but I don't have the answers. But I think, like my advice would be like it's going to feel uncomfortable, but it's the same thing. It's probably going to feel just as uncomfortable as like any of those other things we talked about. Lean into it, breathe into it, you know, and maybe things will get better from there. Like you know, like I don't know, first retreat, I didn't give myself any time off. I spent a week with like 15 people like running around Morocco, came back to New York, jumped right back into work and was like what Like? And I realized, oh no, that's. I'm so privileged to be this busy and have had this experience, but that's not okay, I need to give me time. So I I think we just have to be better at listening to ourselves, and that comes with taking that pause.

Amanda DeBraux: 50:03

Thank you so much for joining us today for this episode. I think anyone who watches is going to come away with so many gems and and just you know again, encouraging them to pause and find themselves and do the thing that they actually want to do. And don't let life slip, you slip away from your fingers and next thing you know, if you're privileged enough to live into your 89 years old, you're going to be like, well, I should have, could have, would have, but I didn't, because I was stuck in the fear, I was stuck in the uncomfortableness and I didn't want to get out of that. So I appreciate you so much. Last words, and how they can find you, kendra Thomas Yoga.

Kendra Thomas: 50:38

I keep it really simple, even though I'm not just yoga now. Kendra Thomas Yoga is Instagram and webpage. I know some people don't do Instagram so fine, hats off to you. I don't really do the TikTok thing. I'm too old, I can't get on board. I'm trying, trying. It's really hard, um, but yeah, that's the best way. Dm me, uh, send me an email via my website. And last thoughts, you guys, whatever you're, wherever you are in your journey, like it's okay to fuck things up, it's okay to feel like you didn't get it right, period, because we just keep moving forward and eventually everything kind of works out Like, at least, that's what I'm finding with age. You know, and might not feel like it at the moment, but you know, deep breath, yeah, acting is so vulnerable.

Amanda DeBraux: 51:29

Yeah, appreciate that Well, thank you, thank you, can I drop? That was fantastic. That was like the perfect note. Thank you everyone for joining us for this episode of mindset artistry and we'll see you next time, java. Now, thank you guys for having me, and that's a wrap on this episode of mindset artistry podcast. Don't forget to like, share and subscribe. Catch us every Thursday for a new episode to help you master the art of your mindset. Yeah, we got it. Yes, okay, cool.